St. Terry, Patron Saint of Half-Baked Roasts, Misfired Zingers, and Unseasoned ClapbacksDefender of the Terminally Unfunny, Blessed Protector of “It Sounded Funnier in My Head.”

🙏 The Prayer to St. Terry

Oh blessed St. Terry,

who hath wandered the sacred scrolls of Facebook,

armed with the wit of a soggy cracker

and the timing of a dial-up connection...

Grant us mercy in the face of your keyboard crusades.

Shield us from the scorching heat of your lukewarm retorts,

and forgive us for laughing—not with you,

but in that quiet place reserved for cringe.

Instill in us the humility

to never mistake sarcasm for satire,

nor to confuse a meme with a mic drop.

Guide the lost trolls and wandering posters,

especially those who mistake volume for value,

and hashtags for holy scripture.

May your rainbow-wigged halo ever shine

as a beacon of what not to do in a roast.

And may we all be reminded,

through your divine missteps,

that silence is sometimes the best comeback.

Amen.