Watched the first two episodes of Ride or Die last night, and I laughed out loud when someone said Hannah Waddington’s character was a WOACA—woman of a certain age—and she should act accordingly.

WOACA is code for 45+, menopausal women who should only be knitting and collecting cats. We are considered washed up, no longer of use, past our prime.

And I thought about how much I’ve heard this over the last few years.

I get advertisements that women of a certain age shouldn’t wear certain clothing items. Women of a certain age shouldn’t be in important leadership positions because they can’t control their emotions. Women of a certain age are invisible, are ragey, are weak, are insecure.

And I am glad that women like Waddington and Octavia Spencer and Amanda Peet and Viola Davis and Jennifer Garner and Reese Witherspoon are truly showing what WOACA are capable of accomplishing on screen and off.

And I am so proud of the women in my life who are hitting their stride during these WOACA years, by starting new businesses and finding new passions and engaging in their communities and changing the world.

And I am so happy to be on the Substack platform where so many WOACAs are sharing their stories in authentic, vulnerable ways so we can change the way the rest of society looks at us, how our families look at us, how the workforce looks at us.

And I am proud of myself for being a WOACA who knows the best is yet to come. I’ve lived a great life so far, but I know deep in my heart that I have more to give.

As women of a certain age, the world subtly tells us our place, but that does not mean we need to listen. It does not mean we need to go gently. It does not mean we need to adhere.

We can quiet our minds while loudly roaring from our hearts. We can chase our passions while living simply. We can be our best selves after years of giving our best to others.

WOACA means finally living for ourselves, and like the great women who have come before me, I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone else tell me what I should wear, how I should look, or how I should act. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

It’s not that I don’t care about others, but I don’t have time to care for the constraints others want to put upon me. I have been there. I have done that.

Being a woman of a certain age means I’ve lived enough life to earn my freedom from others’ opinions. I choose to live for my own approval instead.

Love hard.