I let on to my university housemates in week one of our studies that I had a weird phobia of a single baked bean. By which I mean a cooked bean on its own. Beans should always be en masse or I get deeply freaked out. It means, of course, that I have to always be on high alert when eating beans myself. If one gets isolated from the group, I all but break out in a panic until a nearby sympathetic associate, familiar with my issue, corrects things for me. Anyway, I woke up one day later that first uni week, opened my door and there on the floor was a large plate with a single Heinz baked bean, squashed and divorced of any sauce (particularly upsetting to me), in the middle of it. I refused to come out until it had been removed which, having to wait several hours until this has been done, meant I missed my chance to sign up for the university hockey team. A thing I regret to this day.

Please look forward to an upcoming essay in which I draw this story out into a 5000 word personal essay.