I had the same thought about the self-control article - I felt like they focused so much on how folks with high self-control are negatively perceived by others, but for me, the biggest downside is what you point towards: perfectionism and harshness towards the self. And I do really wonder whether it's actually my inner tendencies towards perfectionism and self-criticism that create the "self-control", and not the other way around; either way, that's the piece of the equation I wanted to learn more about. Because just as "discipline" doesn't have to mean "punishment" (but so many people assume it does), it seems like "self-discipline" way too frequently is created through a very punishing attitude towards oneself, and I'm really curious what it could look like to have self-discipline, but in a "gentle discipline" sort of sense.