My Wishlist

I do not ask life for perfection anymore.

Life has already shown me how even beautiful things can break.

So now,

I ask for softer things.

Days where my mind does not feel like a battlefield I must survive alone.

Days where silence feels comforting instead of painfully empty.

I am tired of explaining the pain people only notice after it turns into tears.

Tired of translating emotions into words soft enough for others to understand.

I just want sincerity.

The kind that stays honest even when life becomes inconvenient.

I want people…

People who do not disappear the moment I become difficult to understand.

Because truthfully,

I am tired of feeling temporary in places where I tried to be genuine.

I want connections that feel safe.

Not spaces where I must reduce myself just to remain accepted.

I want rest.

Not the kind sleep gives for a few hours,

but the kind that reaches the soul and says,

“You have carried enough for now.”

I want peace with Allah.

Peace with my thoughts.

Peace with the parts of me I keep hiding behind jokes, writing, and “I’m okay.”

And my pen…

I want it to stop sounding wounded every time it speaks.

I want to write about healing too.

About mornings that no longer feel heavy.

About conversations that feel intentional.

About people who stay consistent without needing reminders.

Maybe someday,

someone will notice the heaviness in my quietness before I turn it into poetry.

Maybe someday,

I will stop feeling alone in rooms full of people.

Maybe someday,

my heart will stop preparing itself for every connection to fade.

That is my wishlist.

Not perfection.

Not a painless life.

Not grand gestures.

Just understanding.

Intentionality.

Consistency.

Warmth.

And a place in people’s lives that does not feel temporary.

A. Noor ✍️