When we don't speak up about our wants, resentment builds, and the conversation shift to one about identity and self-worth. Asking for what you want is not entitlement, it's clear and timely communication.

I delivered major launches for 3 years at Thumbtack. The company grew from 20 to 250. I launched new markets and business lines, built entire functions, and mentored new director hires.

My manager noticed. I got praise and appreciation regularly. But no new title. No meaningful comp increase. No formal acknowledgment. I was waiting for them to notice.

And one day, it all spilled over. I stormed into my 1-1 with my manager, tearful and resentful. The narrative in my head became "They don't value my work. Don't don't value me."

Advocate for what you need early. Speak up:

✅ Name it early: The best time to raise comp and title is when things are going well, not when you're already resentful.

✅ Be specific: "I'm targeting Director in 12 months. can we align on what that path looks like?"

✅ Explore options together: "I want to talk about my growth trajectory", not "Give me a raise or I'm leaving." Remember: Your manager is not sitting around wondering if you're happy. If you haven't told them what you need, there's a real chance they genuinely don't know.

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