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Apr 19·edited Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Don't know how you find all of these Dr. Malone, but thanks. To repay you, here's a video that will brighten your day in 7 seconds flat: Why Are Chickens So Funny? https://bitchute.com/video/laFFMxr3SRbV [7 seconds]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

KARL MARX: No single chicken built that road.

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Edit: The above was found on a joke site with no attribution, thanks to SurfingUSA for providing it: https://mikerowe.com/2021/08/off-the-wall-why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

BOB DOLE: That's a good honest hardworking chicken. His taxes built that road, why shouldn't he cross it?

RON PAUL: The government shouldn't be in the business of building roads. If the chicken wants a road to cross, he needs to build it himself.

SOCRATES: I know that I do not know why the chicken crossed that road.

MLK: We should never judge a chicken by the road he chooses to cross, but by the way in which he crosses it.

EUCLID: Was the road made to specifications?

PYTHAGORAS: The chicken crossed that road at that time to get his soul to the "other side."

KENNEDY: The chicken chose to cross that road, not because it was easy, but because it was hard.

KLAUS SCHWAB: Zat chicken owns nothing, not even zat road, and is happy.

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FAUCI: the chicken crossed the road to be a good citizen and take the jab.

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FAUCI: (six months later) I never recommended that the chicken cross the road.

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The chicken needs to stay 6 feet apart from all other chickens, while hes on the road

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Walenski: CDC guidance advises that chickens only cross roads during rush hour.

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Whoa....accurate.

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Harvested by restaurants to make Hot 'n' Spiky wings.

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MY FANTASY: Sure, you can have chicken, or a Big Mac, or a nice steak instead of chicken, you can eat whatever you want cuz it's YOUR last meal. Then Francis Collins and Rochelle on Tuesday.

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I'm told there was an obnoxious chicken farmer not far from here who got his comeuppance. He used to play cruel practical jokes on his birds. For instance, he'd walk past the coops, pretending to be on the phone with the Colonel, who was on his way and 30 minutes out. Or he'd grab eggs right out from under the hens and start juggling. Or make paper airplanes with the profile of a hawk, and send them sailing overhead. I haven't heard any further news about him since some vengeful masked roosters reportedly jumped him and gave him an attitude adjustment.

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A chicken farmer was found dead near his coop.

Police suspect fowl play.

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The beak marks tell the grim tale. There's an APB out, complete with description of the suspects' comb and wattles.

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hahaha, that's hilarious.

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Zee bugs are better on the other side. Haha

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19

Joe Biteme Biden:

The chicken was the copilot on my uncles plane, and was eaten by cannibal chickens, after the crash landing in New Guinea

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because, if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans,

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Damn

It’s too early to laugh like this

The Katz are giving me funny looks

I know it’s early ‘cause I had to read thru it 2x

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I got into stupid dad jokes last year, I was telling them to patients in post op, now they bring them in with them.

Lady at my Docs office yesterday told me that one.

It is nice telling jokes, that I don't have to look over my shoulders, TWICE, before telling.

Old chicken rd joke.

Why did the chicken cross the rd?

To far to walk around.

oooh oooh

I am on a roll.

Happy POETS Day.

Every Friday is poets day.

You know, Piss On Everything, Tomorrows Saturday.

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Dad jokes - good on ya.

Dad jokes: kind of a right of passage and a cycle of life. When our kiddos are young, "dad jokes" are funny, then somewhere along the way they lose their magic; then, and I hope I live long enough to hear (and my son escapes the family curse of losing children in utero) dad is recycling the same jokes and telling new ones. 🤔 are grandchild jokes funnier ‘cause grandparents are over joyed for the attention or because we’re finally at a point where we’ve seen enough that ain’t funny.

Keep on joking Pat. Love may be what makes the world go’ round but, perhaps, humor is the axis on which it spins.

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While listening to Dr Peterson, he mentioned that while you are laughing, you cant fight.

When I was on adolescent psych, we had a kid, big un, that wanted to fight, literally, with staff, I was bigger than him, but man , he had muscle. (age and treachery, usually conquers youth and skill)

We called a code, had a bunch of staff in the room, long story short, I grabbed him, lots of wrasslin, lots of arms and bodies moving around, and when I saw the shot of thorazine coming "our" way, I started yelling, "I'm wearing plaid, don't stick me".

The kid started laughing, and ALL of the fight went out of him.

I used humor as a tool, and man, I avoided a lot of wrasslin.

Humor, is almost always, the best medicine.

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Beautiful.

Gotta remember this as I’m old and slow (but I’m also not funnny).

Love makes the world go’round, it spins on the axis of humor.

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I'm a car guy A+

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🤣 The chicken crossed the road to be on the sunny side of life and get enough Vitamin D to lay healthy eggs! Big Pharma is planning to fence them in! Big Joe is happy because he gets to keep all the eggs!

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JUDGE JUAN MERCHAN: Because he’s guilty.

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19

Hee Hee! The AL Sharpton one was SPOT ON 👌!

Personally, I want to know where all the interest in WHY it crossed the road started?

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Inquiring minds want to know…maybe?

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had to wait a few minutes to laugh before I could thank you for this. I will never look at a chicken the same way

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American Irony. Humor spread like jelly over peanut butter. A sweet sandwich you make.

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Ha ha :-D

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

When I was a kid the world seemed so big. Columbus sailed thousands of miles across dangerous oceans to find a new world. Just over 80 years ago Nazi Germany started invading its neighbors. The world began to shrink for the US when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor and 4 days later Germany declared war on America. In May 1940 Belgium was attacked and taken over by the SS. In Belgium it wasn’t until May of 1944 that Anne Frank was discovered in hiding by the Germans. Eventually she ended up at Auschwitz Concentration camp, where she inevitably succumbed to starvation. I mention Belgium and this shrinking world because my father a poor kid from Boston, was shot in Bastogne Belgium in the Battle of the Bulge. Germany opened a southern front attacking The former Soviet Union (Russia) through the Ukraine. This was one of dozens of attacks over centuries against Russia through its southern border the Ukraine. Today the world has shrunk to the point where war has ended up at our borders. We watch enemy globalist forces seeking to destroy us converge and allow tens of millions into our country, many American hating terrorists. The battle has changed from tanks, fighter planes and guns to a war on our sovereignty, culture, currency and standard of living. This war against us has many firsts. Much of our own government is plotting to destroy our way of life for their own financial gain. How much more can this unquestionable success of a society take before this enemy within creates enough division that it triggers the final blow? Or will the present day patriots be able to stop this treason and set our beloved country back onto its foundation? Only time will tell. J.Goodrich

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You know James I think anarchy ought to be classified as a mental disease. Tbe b.l.m. crowd, antifascists and actually all those thugs from the 60s like the weathermen /ayers cultists…they are all anarchists who have no legitimate reason for angst so they invent one.

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Apr 20·edited Apr 20

Actually, they were constipated from the pharmaceuticals they were taking and weren't getting any quality "affection". I believe it was S. Freud who said that unrelieved frustration turns to hostility.

I was home on special leave from Viet Nam to my home in Chicago during the '68 DemoKrat Konvention and watched in on TV at some friends' house while testing a hookah with a bowl the size of a shot glass, but didn't inhale. They thought it was exciting and wanted to go down and check it out in person. I couldn't believe what my home town had turned into and preferred Viet Nam where I felt safer, had a gun and all my friends had guns and more.

The leaders of that particular CF were:

Abby Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, Bill Ayers (Obama's ghost writer and, I believe his wife, Bernardine Dohrn).

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Anarchists!!

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Absolutely! The Chicago PD mercilessly wailed on them, the press and innocent bystanders and were made out to look like the bad guys.

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Now there's a personal history lesson well recorded Jim!

My GGrandparents were central Austrians, moved and migrated/resettled north west to towns somewhere in the GermanRhineland. And for reasons unknown migrated again to America in 1909 were processed on Ellis Island and wound up in Minnesota. So as a boy in 1909 my grandfather Charles was entered the archive registry asking for citizen ship. There have been family members who have on foot attempted to trace the trail back but have limited success. My cousin Paul was stationed in Berlin for 6 years. As traveling tourists they checked record books in small towns for the last name, often finding clues to the elders journeys. Time consuming it was, as much had been stripped from the archives and lost.

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

hmmm, diaper man keeps saying don't, and then the opposite happens

hmmm

diaper man keeps saying don't voter for trump...

the future's so bright, I gotta get shades

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You reminded me to get my rose 🌹 colored glasses out. It took me back to one of my favorite songs!

La Vie en Rose 🌹 by Edith Piaf

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0feNVUwQA8U

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I just listened to Louie Armstrongs version, beautiful.

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I like Louie Armstrong.

I understand that he also sang it. I've never heard his version of La Vie en Rose. Edith Piaf's version was how I was introduced to the song during my French studies, so I guess you can say it was my first love so I never sought out any other version.

My favorite Louie Armstrong's song 🎵 is: What a Wonderful World!

I have it down as one of my songs to be played at my memorial service.

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

I know this sounds Batchit cwazy wabbit impossible, but there are actually people out there who are still supporting Resident Biden, and this administration.

A woman was recently quoted: "Joe Biden could rape me in the street, and I still wouldn't vote for Donald Trump".

This is a sickness, fueled by the MSM, political hacks, slimebags who hate America, hate OUR freedoms, and will stop at nothing, including MURDER, POISONING, and STARVATION as their tools to get what they want.

The more I read, the more I see, the more I talk to people, the more I love simply spending time alone with my dogs and my wife, and dislike any interactions with the general public

Primarily dogs, but the wife too, from time to time

Oh, and most of you guys are okay

8-)

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And there are so many of them. THESE must be the survivors of the groups that ingested too much fentanyl.

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A fella here, just a couple miles away, juiced himself 3 times in a single day, being revived by the same emt's with the narcan. I cant understand why they went back the 3rd time, as it is perfectly clear he was trying to OD.

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Why won't they leave him alone, to die in a coma peace.

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I watched the interview of the woman who was beaten and raped and now has her jaw wired. Her words to the perpetrator now that he's reprehended, were; "I just hope he can get the help he needs to get better."

Only brainwashed blinded people could talk like that. Gotta keep beating my drum here. The bible describes these days and times and how blind people will be; they are eager to follow anyone because they are that empty inside. We've joked for years about how dumbed down Americans are well we are witnessing just how dumbed down people can be all around us.

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This small two paragraph statement speaks volumes

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I’d love to laugh at the funnies, but they’re so true, I just get pissed off 😤.

Today the lovely state of Pa sent me a penalty bill for not paying enough taxes quarterly, although they get all my $$ anyway. I just think of all those paying zero on welfare and all the ILLEGALS getting everything for free from us taxpayers‼️

Vote for all America First republican candidates, or kiss America goodbye 😡

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Michael, since our election systems and rules have been compromised, we need to brainstorm for new ideas 💡 on how to win back our country because our opposition isn't playing by the rules!

We can't do th we same thing and expect different results!

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I have my own thought on his Don't edict.

DON'T,

DON'T

DON'T VOTE FOR THE SQUATTERS at Pennsylvania Ave.!

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Desantis just signed a law to stop squatters in FLA.

Maybe we should send his dumb ass to DC after all. Make him police chief, or dog catcher

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My yellow Lab is probably more spoiled than JP's

When I roll over in bed and wake him up, I believe I can hear him swearing.

He's with me constantly except when it rains.

He doesn't like the rain but has no problem breaking thin ice so he can swim.

We were put here on earth to serve dogs, I swear.

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And cats, at least in our home now. Dogs did rule the roost for 40 ys tho.

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

That one about the internet sounding like screaming robots slays me! My coworker and I are still both laughing about that one! LOLOLOL

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

I really laughed at that one too! I can still hear those nasty robots lmao

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19

I was remembering my former partner Saman from Iran and his brother Farzan and their mother and their sister, and the wife of Farzan, Azedeh and their daughter Pegah whom I watched sleep and loved. Their father saw what was happening in Iran with the Shaw and got his children out. This was during the time when women had rights and their mother divorced, worked in a hospital and came to visit often. Knowing these Iranians and their hearts and souls makes a difference about how I feel about any war anywhere. It gets personal.

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It’s so sad that if America is completely destroyed by this communist left by people like Merrick Gatland, there will be no place left for people to go and live safe, free and happy.

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Safe is somewhat questionable, often we would leave a venue because of the stares and vibes, knowing Sam looked Iranian. I was with him when he became a citizen, he wanted to be able to vote. It certainly could have been worse, like today's vibe.

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https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/22/politics/garland-reaction-hearing/index.html

This is why I pointed this communist out. He imprisons his political opponents. Religious persecution is the same as political persecution because it’s always politicians exactly like Joe Biden and his henchmen that does it.

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Apr 19·edited Apr 19

It's all about power when we should consider the people and ignore those, who desire power for the sake of being powerful. When I was growing up our next door neighbors were two older ladies. One I have mentioned here had a son-in-law, who was a Pharmaceutical Researcher and the other was a retired former school teacher, who had never married. Directly across the street was a lesbian couple, who were long time family friends, but that's a story for another day. When the school teacher retired she was able to travel extensively and as she got older she offered free housing to one foreign student at the college, literally across the street. One particularly nice girl was Persian, in other words Iranian and she was probably the most outstanding of several. I went to school there with Lebanese, Thais, and for that matter black Americans, who to a small town with previously only one black resident made them a little different. In graduate school one of my friends was a black Libyan, son of a Gaddafi supporter. We did all have one thing in common, we each considered all of the others human beings and all got along. I have since been in positions that brought me in contact with a different breed, the political class, who want power for power's sake and in a surprising number of instances ended up in prison or otherwise disgraced for various crimes and infractions. I draw the line between people not as much as racial and ethnic groups as human beings and the power hungry that tend to end up in leadership positions, but are frequently the worst to hold those positions. I guess that is why this growing populist movement began to gain traction I found myself naturally drawn to it.

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Sam always loved the word and meaning and history of Persia. He would read me Persian poetry in Farsi. I swooned, not knowing a single word.

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And I grew up watching I dream of Jeanie, wondering why I wanted to be a male genie.

Haha !

Magic powers, meh ! 😳

It was the sexy women which I found out later in life, that made my interest

8-)

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On the sands of the Middle East, the worlds finest Rugs in Persia are made.

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First hand knowledge over conjecture, any hour of the day DD.

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Was taking grad courses at Univ. of Houston when iranian students took to the streets shouting death to the shah who in many cases was paying for them being there. Ironically many claimed to be communists which led to them being put against the wall by the islamic fanatics when they came home.

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Apr 20·edited Apr 20Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

These are so painfully, ironically comforting. We all look so forward to the affirmation we get from each image and meme.

Remember when political humor was a magnification of reality? ha - We've long passed "You can't make this stuff up."

The multi-layered orchestration of evil that's prevailing worldwide today, no comedian alive could exaggerate.

Those who could make positive change clearly won't and the worst gets worster day by day. After this week's news I couldn't be more convinced that prayer and fasting are the only weapons to effect change. In all truth they are the most effective and therein it's only doubt that renders believers inoperative. Right where evil wants us to be. Blessings to all and much love and gratefulness to the Malones.

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Apr 20Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Well dang!! Sooooooo many good ones today! 😄👏👏👏

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Apr 20Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Dr. Malone, Your Fallout series is SO good, and each program is even better than the one before. Please encourage EpochTV to initiate a newsletter-signup list so that followers will be notified when there is a new program, and we could notify others in advance. Otherwise, there's no way to know.

Thanks!

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author
Apr 20·edited Apr 20Author

That is a great suggestion. FYI - the episodes come out each Friday at nine PM Eastern.

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Thanks for the chuckle.. Did You know I drove that van? Well it had the same signs.

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The Biden Cartoon Show is beyond belief! His gaffes are notorious. He is not cognizant. Yet he sits in the highest seat...An (not our) American president and the Commander in Chief of America. Biden, the tool of people in the White House who hid him in the basement during the election; fearful of what he would say, when he opened his mouth.

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

I like the kangaroo court funny.

The video clip with Biden was embarrassing . He has dementia. The end.

JP nailed it again.

Have a great weekend!

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Apr 19Liked by Robert W Malone MD, MS

Oh such hate in these. The libs will be in a rage. Keep the emu safe and out of puddles. Love the funnies.

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