I think you are conflating two pieces here. It’s “grown up” to recognize your own limitations with food (“I love a big breakfast, but then I feel tired and gross all day.”)
But that is not the same as avoiding something because overcoming inertia is too hard.
I’ve lived in some version of spread out suburbs my whole life, so I think kids and teens are just more spontaneous. Probably because they don’t NEED to do much long term planning. Even in my 20s, I could drop everything and hang with my friends. In my 40s, I find myself thinking about the trade offs. Is it worth getting less sleep tonight to meet up with a friend at 9pm? If I take my kids geocaching on a beautiful day, do I miss the only dry day this week to mow the lawn?
Proximity helps, but it’s definitely not the only factor.
"If I take my kids geocaching on a beautiful day, do I miss the only dry day this week to mow the lawn?"
Well that raises a third question. Is homeownership and related responsibilities a way to practice adult responsibility and maturity? Or is it a big waste of time and a distraction from your family/job/social life? In other words, what if you didn't have a lawn to mow?
But there’s a certain element of adulthood/maturity that involves planning beyond today and taking responsibility for something bigger than yourself - whether that’s kids, elderly parents, a house, a dog…
Part of it is probably the fact that visiting home is a “vacation” or at least a trip. Just the novelty of going somewhere different breaks up routines. Not paying for it is a factor. Preparing food for 3 or 4 people just feels like a better use of time than preparing food for 1 or 2.
But there’s also undoubtedly a factor of the food just being there and abundant. I don’t keep a lot of food in my apartment in the city, because if I want a sweet treat I can walk a few blocks and pick up a pint of ice cream or a delicious fresh donut or whatever it is I want, but walking those few blocks and paying for it in the moment provides just enough resistance. On the other hand, if you already paid for it last week when you stocked up at Costco, and it’s just right over there in the pantry…
Not eating anything until dinner? People do this voluntarily? A good breakfast motivates me to get started in the morning, and leaving the office for an hour at midday for an enjoyable lunch is an essential respite from work.
Maybe it is generational ['1942]. I eat a hearty breakfast, biggest meal of day. But we do even bigger on Sundays when our daughter comes over. She eats a light breakfast of close to none other days.
Maturity and lower metabolism are the culprits. During college, I would eat leftover Chinese for breakfast many days of the week and remained stick thin. Probably would weight 50 pounds more if I do that today.
I would say this rings true for me. I used to live in the heart of Falls Church, and I was at most a 20 minute walk/5 minute drive from bars, coffee shops, the grocery store, etc, all of which I partook in frequently. I've since relocated to a city in North Carolina where I'm a 15 minute drive from anything. I find myself eating at home more often and doing fewer things "out" generally, which is easy to justify as being wiser with money or too old for that lifestyle. But as soon as I'm back in the DC area I resume spontaneously popping out to go places. Proximity seems to be a deciding factor.
I think there's something about "found food" and being on holiday. I remember the situations you talked about, the grazing at your parents' house in a way you would not do at home. I've noted the same sort of behavior, not only visiting my parents but also on holiday trips like a recent trip to the UK. Temporarily
As for the loss of spontaneity as one matures, more than being children-dependent I think it's very location-dependent. From my 40s to my 60s - and through my daughter's grade school to high school years, we lived in a close-in suburb of Milwaukee WI. Tidy little bungalows, tiny yards, but also a school playground just a block away and restaurants in easy walking distance. The sort of place where we could walk out the door mid afternoon on New Year's Eve, have restaurant and a pint at a restaurant, have a drink at 4 more bars over the next several hours, and stumble home by 8 PM - all on foot. Had we been younger there were other bars w/in walking distance we could have kept going until midnight. With that bounty at hand it's easy to just decide "let's grab some Italian!" and walk the 2 blocks to Il Mito. Where I live now, out in the extended burbs, going out for a meal takes planning, and going to a play or concert back in Milwaukee is a major event.
I think you are conflating two pieces here. It’s “grown up” to recognize your own limitations with food (“I love a big breakfast, but then I feel tired and gross all day.”)
But that is not the same as avoiding something because overcoming inertia is too hard.
I’ve lived in some version of spread out suburbs my whole life, so I think kids and teens are just more spontaneous. Probably because they don’t NEED to do much long term planning. Even in my 20s, I could drop everything and hang with my friends. In my 40s, I find myself thinking about the trade offs. Is it worth getting less sleep tonight to meet up with a friend at 9pm? If I take my kids geocaching on a beautiful day, do I miss the only dry day this week to mow the lawn?
Proximity helps, but it’s definitely not the only factor.
"If I take my kids geocaching on a beautiful day, do I miss the only dry day this week to mow the lawn?"
Well that raises a third question. Is homeownership and related responsibilities a way to practice adult responsibility and maturity? Or is it a big waste of time and a distraction from your family/job/social life? In other words, what if you didn't have a lawn to mow?
I think homeownership is probably both.
But there’s a certain element of adulthood/maturity that involves planning beyond today and taking responsibility for something bigger than yourself - whether that’s kids, elderly parents, a house, a dog…
Part of it is probably the fact that visiting home is a “vacation” or at least a trip. Just the novelty of going somewhere different breaks up routines. Not paying for it is a factor. Preparing food for 3 or 4 people just feels like a better use of time than preparing food for 1 or 2.
But there’s also undoubtedly a factor of the food just being there and abundant. I don’t keep a lot of food in my apartment in the city, because if I want a sweet treat I can walk a few blocks and pick up a pint of ice cream or a delicious fresh donut or whatever it is I want, but walking those few blocks and paying for it in the moment provides just enough resistance. On the other hand, if you already paid for it last week when you stocked up at Costco, and it’s just right over there in the pantry…
Not eating anything until dinner? People do this voluntarily? A good breakfast motivates me to get started in the morning, and leaving the office for an hour at midday for an enjoyable lunch is an essential respite from work.
Maybe it is generational ['1942]. I eat a hearty breakfast, biggest meal of day. But we do even bigger on Sundays when our daughter comes over. She eats a light breakfast of close to none other days.
Maturity and lower metabolism are the culprits. During college, I would eat leftover Chinese for breakfast many days of the week and remained stick thin. Probably would weight 50 pounds more if I do that today.
I would say this rings true for me. I used to live in the heart of Falls Church, and I was at most a 20 minute walk/5 minute drive from bars, coffee shops, the grocery store, etc, all of which I partook in frequently. I've since relocated to a city in North Carolina where I'm a 15 minute drive from anything. I find myself eating at home more often and doing fewer things "out" generally, which is easy to justify as being wiser with money or too old for that lifestyle. But as soon as I'm back in the DC area I resume spontaneously popping out to go places. Proximity seems to be a deciding factor.
I think there's something about "found food" and being on holiday. I remember the situations you talked about, the grazing at your parents' house in a way you would not do at home. I've noted the same sort of behavior, not only visiting my parents but also on holiday trips like a recent trip to the UK. Temporarily
As for the loss of spontaneity as one matures, more than being children-dependent I think it's very location-dependent. From my 40s to my 60s - and through my daughter's grade school to high school years, we lived in a close-in suburb of Milwaukee WI. Tidy little bungalows, tiny yards, but also a school playground just a block away and restaurants in easy walking distance. The sort of place where we could walk out the door mid afternoon on New Year's Eve, have restaurant and a pint at a restaurant, have a drink at 4 more bars over the next several hours, and stumble home by 8 PM - all on foot. Had we been younger there were other bars w/in walking distance we could have kept going until midnight. With that bounty at hand it's easy to just decide "let's grab some Italian!" and walk the 2 blocks to Il Mito. Where I live now, out in the extended burbs, going out for a meal takes planning, and going to a play or concert back in Milwaukee is a major event.