“In a complex and confusing world, I always felt that there was at least one news outlet that could make sense of it all,” one longtime subscriber said. “That’s been stolen from me.”
Good morning TBR community members! Here’s a question to start the day: What’s your all-time favorite National Enquirer headline? I’ll accept entries from Weekly World News as well.
“Former President DJT Revealed to be Love Child of Big Foot”. Documents released by the Space Laser University for Technophobes (SLUT) in Leavenworth, Washington revealed that the legendary Big Foot (known by his closest friends as Sasquatch) had an affair with an adult radio show star that resulted in the unexpected birth of a baby boy 77 years ago who would grow up to be President. While they kept the illegitimate birth a secret all these years, they told the Enquirer Reporter they were proud of their secret son but disappointed that an offspring from Big Foot could develop bone spurs. But they’re hoping one day soon he’ll return to a place called Leavenworth, even if it’s in Kansas.
Reading the cover page of National Enquirer has been my favorite way to kill time in a grocery store checkout line for decades! Such great entertainment!
You and the brilliant Borowitz Report followers covered everything! However, in other revealing news yesterday, TFG (the Former Guy) finally admitted on his way out of the courtroom that if he read everything he re-tweeted it would be like reading a novel. He can’t be responsible for what’s in there. It doesn’t violate the gag order. So that piece of news is REAL…corroborated by the source: HE DOESN’T READ!!!
The Georgia Congresswoman with reality issues must be devastated: MTG's two biggest news sources seem to be the Kremlin's Office of Propaganda and the NE and WWW--Jewish space lasers, anyone?? If Liz Truss were an American she would be equally so, except her main news sources are the Sun and the Daily Mirror, which pretend to be actual newspapers but are really NE wannabes owned by the "leader" in "fair and balanced" news, the Murdoch family . . . I admit that I am surprised, Andy, that you haven't covered Liz's turn at neofascist punditry at the Heritage Foundation on Monday flogging her new "book." Notable moments? Liz's term as PM lost to a head of lettuce.
Does this mean that the "Alien Autopsy" video might be a hoax? What about climate change? Is that real? Should we use ivermectin if we think we have COVID? Hard to know what's real these days. Next thing you know, folks will be saying that Trump is still president.
Good morning TBR community members! Here’s a question to start the day: What’s your all-time favorite National Enquirer headline? I’ll accept entries from Weekly World News as well.
Next thing you know, we’ll hear that The Onion makes stuff up too! Is nothing sacred??
Fox and NatE are so yesterday….i go straight to NewsMax and OAN to get the real poop…as it were….so to speak…..
“Former President DJT Revealed to be Love Child of Big Foot”. Documents released by the Space Laser University for Technophobes (SLUT) in Leavenworth, Washington revealed that the legendary Big Foot (known by his closest friends as Sasquatch) had an affair with an adult radio show star that resulted in the unexpected birth of a baby boy 77 years ago who would grow up to be President. While they kept the illegitimate birth a secret all these years, they told the Enquirer Reporter they were proud of their secret son but disappointed that an offspring from Big Foot could develop bone spurs. But they’re hoping one day soon he’ll return to a place called Leavenworth, even if it’s in Kansas.
Reading the cover page of National Enquirer has been my favorite way to kill time in a grocery store checkout line for decades! Such great entertainment!
You and the brilliant Borowitz Report followers covered everything! However, in other revealing news yesterday, TFG (the Former Guy) finally admitted on his way out of the courtroom that if he read everything he re-tweeted it would be like reading a novel. He can’t be responsible for what’s in there. It doesn’t violate the gag order. So that piece of news is REAL…corroborated by the source: HE DOESN’T READ!!!
Does this mean that Big Foot is no longer a possible republican candidate for Vice President ?
WWN: "Gay Aliens Found in UFO Wreck"
We really are everywhere...
Once again, Andy, you’re hilarious. But a sobering thought. Those who get their news from the Enquirer and Fox are allowed to vote. 😵💫
The Georgia Congresswoman with reality issues must be devastated: MTG's two biggest news sources seem to be the Kremlin's Office of Propaganda and the NE and WWW--Jewish space lasers, anyone?? If Liz Truss were an American she would be equally so, except her main news sources are the Sun and the Daily Mirror, which pretend to be actual newspapers but are really NE wannabes owned by the "leader" in "fair and balanced" news, the Murdoch family . . . I admit that I am surprised, Andy, that you haven't covered Liz's turn at neofascist punditry at the Heritage Foundation on Monday flogging her new "book." Notable moments? Liz's term as PM lost to a head of lettuce.
Does this mean that the "Alien Autopsy" video might be a hoax? What about climate change? Is that real? Should we use ivermectin if we think we have COVID? Hard to know what's real these days. Next thing you know, folks will be saying that Trump is still president.
wait! you mean it’s NOT dominion’s fault?
"Ghost Of Elvis Found In Vegas Couple's Pool By The Rabbi Who Loved Him." Gauntlet thrown down. AKA Mic Drop in 2024.
Is it all right to create one? I don't think I've ever seen one I'd want to commit to memory.
This morning I didn't even need to open your email before laughing so hard I scared my cat.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
For making my day.
Oh my gosh; you mean aliens haven’t taken over the world? I’m shocked! All this time I thought all those stories in the National Enquirer were true!