Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Zan! Although this piece was comedy the point was, of course, to highlight what not to do in relationships... so makes me super happy to hear you noticed that. That's amazing. I love hearing strategies of others who are in successful relationships so thanks for sharing with me. #1 and #2 are great rules and ones I will try to be better at following. #3 on the other hand just can't be true... because I'm always right (did you already forget Lesson #1??!!).
here is one for you. 35 years ago when i married connie, i told her we were never going to have an argument in this marriage. everything in this marriage would be decided by a 1-0 vote and she had first vote on everything. only one first-vote ever mattered. imho, i was misdiagnosed as having a stroke, but the doctor recommended that i not drive... it was after a grueling 6 hour interview with only 30 minutess for lunch. connie said, "gimme the keys." i said "that's a 1-0 vote. " she said predictably "gimme the keys". a year later she relented and let me drive again. the non-driving year was one of the happiest years of my life. we have a year old new mercedes that that i have never driven and her old merecedes convertible rarely gets outside but spring will come soon to texas.
Hey Gary! That’s fantastic you found a system that works for you and Connie… so beautiful to hear about your 35 years and running marriage. Makes me happy to hear! I think your comment really highlights the foundation of a good relationship: finding solutions that work for you and your partner. You don’t have to do what anyone or everyone else does or follow popular advice or listen to a therapist or internet blogs, you just need to find a system that works for you. And your long and happy marriage is a testament to that. Thanks for sharing your story!
...if only i had this advice sooner i would still be together with my sixth wife (lasted 4 days, blaming Reno)...i'd like to add a rule #11 to this and note that it often helps to "accidentally" call your significant other some other significant others name during any argument...i loved arguing with my 8th wife Tessa (Tanya) this way...I am also a fan of mockingly shrugging your shoulders and say "yeah sure" in air quotes...mockery in general is a great argumentative strategy...that way your partner can hear how they really sound...
Hahaha this cracked me up. I can’t believe I missed mockery… dammit. “Yeah suurreeeee” is also a great one. I have much to learn yet.
Thanks so much for your commenting CansaFis. When I see your name on my substack notifications I always get excited to see what the master of chaos mastery has to say.
Hah this was a lot of fun. Proud of you for taking a risk and expanding your range as a writer. It’s interesting especially with the topic of arguments - as I do many of these things and only realize how silly and backwards they are when laid in front of me like this.
Thanks for your support buddy. Was scary to put this out there. Makes me super happy to see you saw the point of this behind my attempt at humor: to know what NOT to do in arguments. I’m sure we all do some of these to slightly lesser degrees of ridiculousness of times. Appreciate you
Hey Jack, well sorry to say, you're wrong. And don't try to reply, I'll interrupt you. I won't say it again. I'm offended that you think I need this advice. Plus, you left the toothpaste cap off by the side of the sink again. What the heck were you thinking?
You’re off to a great start Rick… don’t be afraid to make your jabs more personal though 🤣
Thanks so much for reading and supporting, Rick. Trying something new is daunting. I was excited to publish this but immediately after it went out into the world I felt fear and shyness with a twinge of regret. Makes me super happy to hear you enjoyed :) and thanks for letting me know!
Haha thanks for reading James! It was really scary to try something new but I thought I could make something funny (to me at least, hopefully to others too) while still weaving in some practical knowledge in the form of “what not to do’s”. I appreciate your support so much :)
Hahaha this made me chuckle so much!! But on a more serious note, I think you're onto something.
Personally with my partner of 7 years, we have 3 rules:
1. Never go to bed mad at each other.
2. Calmly try to find the smallest point we're disagreeing about and focus on resolving that specific seed of contention.
3. She's always right.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Zan! Although this piece was comedy the point was, of course, to highlight what not to do in relationships... so makes me super happy to hear you noticed that. That's amazing. I love hearing strategies of others who are in successful relationships so thanks for sharing with me. #1 and #2 are great rules and ones I will try to be better at following. #3 on the other hand just can't be true... because I'm always right (did you already forget Lesson #1??!!).
here is one for you. 35 years ago when i married connie, i told her we were never going to have an argument in this marriage. everything in this marriage would be decided by a 1-0 vote and she had first vote on everything. only one first-vote ever mattered. imho, i was misdiagnosed as having a stroke, but the doctor recommended that i not drive... it was after a grueling 6 hour interview with only 30 minutess for lunch. connie said, "gimme the keys." i said "that's a 1-0 vote. " she said predictably "gimme the keys". a year later she relented and let me drive again. the non-driving year was one of the happiest years of my life. we have a year old new mercedes that that i have never driven and her old merecedes convertible rarely gets outside but spring will come soon to texas.
Hey Gary! That’s fantastic you found a system that works for you and Connie… so beautiful to hear about your 35 years and running marriage. Makes me happy to hear! I think your comment really highlights the foundation of a good relationship: finding solutions that work for you and your partner. You don’t have to do what anyone or everyone else does or follow popular advice or listen to a therapist or internet blogs, you just need to find a system that works for you. And your long and happy marriage is a testament to that. Thanks for sharing your story!
...if only i had this advice sooner i would still be together with my sixth wife (lasted 4 days, blaming Reno)...i'd like to add a rule #11 to this and note that it often helps to "accidentally" call your significant other some other significant others name during any argument...i loved arguing with my 8th wife Tessa (Tanya) this way...I am also a fan of mockingly shrugging your shoulders and say "yeah sure" in air quotes...mockery in general is a great argumentative strategy...that way your partner can hear how they really sound...
Hahaha this cracked me up. I can’t believe I missed mockery… dammit. “Yeah suurreeeee” is also a great one. I have much to learn yet.
Thanks so much for your commenting CansaFis. When I see your name on my substack notifications I always get excited to see what the master of chaos mastery has to say.
Hah this was a lot of fun. Proud of you for taking a risk and expanding your range as a writer. It’s interesting especially with the topic of arguments - as I do many of these things and only realize how silly and backwards they are when laid in front of me like this.
Great piece (:
Thanks for your support buddy. Was scary to put this out there. Makes me super happy to see you saw the point of this behind my attempt at humor: to know what NOT to do in arguments. I’m sure we all do some of these to slightly lesser degrees of ridiculousness of times. Appreciate you
Hey Jack, well sorry to say, you're wrong. And don't try to reply, I'll interrupt you. I won't say it again. I'm offended that you think I need this advice. Plus, you left the toothpaste cap off by the side of the sink again. What the heck were you thinking?
- - -
How'd I do?
Are we closer now?
PS - (Loved this. Made me laugh.)
You’re off to a great start Rick… don’t be afraid to make your jabs more personal though 🤣
Thanks so much for reading and supporting, Rick. Trying something new is daunting. I was excited to publish this but immediately after it went out into the world I felt fear and shyness with a twinge of regret. Makes me super happy to hear you enjoyed :) and thanks for letting me know!
That's when you know you're doing the work! Congrats on trying the new thing and hitting publish. I'm glad you did.
You are so right. I should be seeking that feeling more I think. Slight discomfort is usually a good sign.
Loved this! Going to forward to my wife now :)
Haha thanks for reading James! It was really scary to try something new but I thought I could make something funny (to me at least, hopefully to others too) while still weaving in some practical knowledge in the form of “what not to do’s”. I appreciate your support so much :)
Made a list of all your headers and saved as cellphone wallpaper. Thanks for the winning relationship tips, Jack!
Haha thanks dad! What a great idea… a cheat sheet to master relationship disputes. You definitely can’t lose now!!