Broadly agree with much of this. In particular, the advice to seek friendships based on common likes, not common dislikes, is very insightful.
"Now that you have emptied your life of frustration, you are ready to fill it with joy. Start doing things that make you happy even – nay, especially – if most people in your ex-society disrespect them." This is where I worry that this advice will lead some people astray. Wise and conscientious people will be able to properly balance work and leisure and find a reasonable amount of time to "do things that make them happy," but lots of people can't really do this. When they throw out social pressure as a factor, what sounds good to them might consist of blowing off basic responsibilities, and/or engaging in actively harmful "fun" (drugs are one example, but far from the only one). Lots of activities are happiness-producing in the short term but happiness-destroying in the long term. Bryan and the sort of people who read intellectual Substacks are often smart enough to recognize these traps, but lots of people aren't.
The more nuanced advice might be "cultivate virtue to become the sort of person whose preferences lead to fulfillment and joy, and not to harm or self-destruction; then follow those preferences." But that's not easy. In short, preferences can be wrong.
<<Find a career you really enjoy. Ask yourself, “Will I take daily pride in this work?”>>
Thanks Bryan. It's time to follow your advice and resign from your professorship as this sort of job is useless and involves a corruption of tax payers' money - per your own admission in your posts and books. I'm hoping you don't really taking pride in partaking in the corruption that is higher education.
I've lived more or less in a bubble for almost 80 years. My occasional efforts to join outside groups have met with rejection (personality). I have not let that bother me too much. I look, sound, and smell OK, so I'm functionally quite mobile. And my bubble is well-populated with a very few wonderful people, most of them relatives. I've been able to make a modest living, too (smart - too smart).
This is great! One thing I have noticed for parents with young children (like myself) is that attending public schools forces interactions that many parents would normally not choose, particularly with parents of your children’s friends. “This is the only school I’m zoned for, so I don’t have a choice!” I try to encourage my friends to look at the parents of the kids that attend the school when selecting a school, rather than looking at test scores performance, attendance %, and number of extra curricular activities. By selecting niche private kindergarten and later homeschooling has accelerated my ability to find more people closer to my bubble, but I, too, have a lot of work to do in completing my bubble and creating a mobile bubble suit when I go exploring!
The creative way to drop out of society by assembling your own and sending invites to kindred souls.
Emily Dickinson and Anne of Green Gables would definitely approve.
This is a fantastic post Bryan. Too many people worry about things they cannot control; this is a good antidote to needless anxiety and depression.
Broadly agree with much of this. In particular, the advice to seek friendships based on common likes, not common dislikes, is very insightful.
"Now that you have emptied your life of frustration, you are ready to fill it with joy. Start doing things that make you happy even – nay, especially – if most people in your ex-society disrespect them." This is where I worry that this advice will lead some people astray. Wise and conscientious people will be able to properly balance work and leisure and find a reasonable amount of time to "do things that make them happy," but lots of people can't really do this. When they throw out social pressure as a factor, what sounds good to them might consist of blowing off basic responsibilities, and/or engaging in actively harmful "fun" (drugs are one example, but far from the only one). Lots of activities are happiness-producing in the short term but happiness-destroying in the long term. Bryan and the sort of people who read intellectual Substacks are often smart enough to recognize these traps, but lots of people aren't.
The more nuanced advice might be "cultivate virtue to become the sort of person whose preferences lead to fulfillment and joy, and not to harm or self-destruction; then follow those preferences." But that's not easy. In short, preferences can be wrong.
Today is the birthday of Marcus Aurelius. Brian's advice fits quite well with his stoicism.
<<Find a career you really enjoy. Ask yourself, “Will I take daily pride in this work?”>>
Thanks Bryan. It's time to follow your advice and resign from your professorship as this sort of job is useless and involves a corruption of tax payers' money - per your own admission in your posts and books. I'm hoping you don't really taking pride in partaking in the corruption that is higher education.
Stop being a hypocrite and resign.
I've lived more or less in a bubble for almost 80 years. My occasional efforts to join outside groups have met with rejection (personality). I have not let that bother me too much. I look, sound, and smell OK, so I'm functionally quite mobile. And my bubble is well-populated with a very few wonderful people, most of them relatives. I've been able to make a modest living, too (smart - too smart).
This is great! One thing I have noticed for parents with young children (like myself) is that attending public schools forces interactions that many parents would normally not choose, particularly with parents of your children’s friends. “This is the only school I’m zoned for, so I don’t have a choice!” I try to encourage my friends to look at the parents of the kids that attend the school when selecting a school, rather than looking at test scores performance, attendance %, and number of extra curricular activities. By selecting niche private kindergarten and later homeschooling has accelerated my ability to find more people closer to my bubble, but I, too, have a lot of work to do in completing my bubble and creating a mobile bubble suit when I go exploring!