So, I’m about to be homeless. I don’t feel 100% comfortable using the word ‘homeless’ considering there are people who are facing homelessness and poverty but I couldn’t think of a better way to phrase this self-inflicted tumultuous time in my life.
This decision to uproot is 100% my own. A month ago, I gave my landlord my notice that I would be moving out of my flat in June and today, I book my moving van and storage unit.
I love my apartment. I love the spacious living room, the balcony that offers a glimpse into a huge forest, a corner of the quiet town centre, and the aerial view of busy train tracks. I love how much light comes in from my floor-to-ceiling bedroom windows. I have a massive bathroom. And I even have washer dryer! It’s everything I wanted and more in my first grown up flat. Yet, I still find myself deeply unsatisfied and can’t seem to curb this urge to be somewhere else.
When I was 19 I moved to Spain for half of my gap year before university. After university I lived in Paris for 2 years. Even as a child, I remember moving around a lot and never stayed in a primary school for more than 2 years. So, after all this moving why can’t I embrace the stability of a nice one bedroom apartment in a quiet town?!
A few reasons for this drastic change come to mind. Everything is so expensive now. My rent increased in January, my council tax went up and I don’t even turn on the TV anymore to save on energy bill. On top of that, living alone after growing up in a big family can be incredibly lonely. As an introvert, I love my peace and quiet and have always embraced a hermit lifestyle but it would be nice to have company sometimes. It would be even nicer to witness the small signs of life and livelihood that used to irk me; water splatters on the bathroom floor. My items displaces. Crumbs on the kitchen counter. A cheap speaker blasting music I don’t like. I miss those things and- dare I say it- I miss living with my family.
So what’s the plan, you might be wondering? Well, it’s not to live with my family again and it’s not to get a flat mate. This next chapter in my life is very much a solo venture. My hope is to travel to a few different countries for a few months until I’m ready to come back to England. I wish I could say I know what I’m doing but I’m very scared, very curious, and a bit unprepared. Travelling can be expensive but I’d much rather spend the £1400 per month I spend on rent, council tax, and bills on adventures. I crave the rehabilitation of newness and worry that if I don’t give myself this, I’ll burn out.
I have about 6 weeks to figure all this out and I hope to take you along with me. Sometimes, you have to embrace uncertainty and force yourself out of your comfort zone. This is very terrifying decision but I’m not impartial to diving head first into chaos and just seeing what happens.
This is so interesting! I just finished having a long conversation with my partner about quitting my job and focusing on my art! This blog has been so inspiring. I think it’s a brave decision and I am so excited for you and your adventures! Cannot wait to read more!
You can't embrace stability because you were, perhaps, raised in a different way, with different values, such as the value of constant movement and overall change. I think that everyone needs roots to thrive in the deeper sense. I wish that your new adventure makes it all clear.