a year ago, i wrote, this was the kind of metamorphosis i have been training my entire life to survive.
a year ago, i wrote, i can’t help but stand in awe of the intensity of what transpired in my life in 2022. (it’s almost impossible to consider that 2023 could be more of a rollercoaster. i know, i know: famous last words.)
a year ago, i wrote, a year from now, perhaps i will know myself a little better.
i do know myself better now. sometimes i feel like i’ve discovered so many new things about who i am that i’ve circled back around and become a stranger to myself. i look taller in the mirror, though i haven’t grown an inch. i have a skin care routine and a hair care routine and a good coat and a good therapist and a lot of damage and a lot of big plans. i order salad when i want to and i don’t when i don’t. i travel. i go for walks that last exactly as long as i want them to last. i know how to talk to people most of the time. when someone asks me what kind of director i am or what i’m working on or what i’ve seen lately that i loved, i tell them.
a year from now, i hope i will know myself still better. i hope i will have found more people to love. i hope that confidence will have stopped feeling so foreign to me. i hope the twelve months behind me will have been full of adventure. i hope i’ll have something good to tell you all.
p.s. this post is too long for email! click the title in your inbox or click HERE to read it on my little substack website so you don’t miss anything.
for my final issue of 2023, i decided to do a round-up of some of my favorite things that i read & saw & heard & made this year! operative words here are “some” and “favorite”! this is not a “best of” list!
also, some of the things on it did not come out in 2023! but i still enjoyed them in 2023!
also also, these are in no particular order! caveat caveat caveat! anyway!
reading.
books.
really good, actually / monica heisey
priestdaddy / patricia lockwood
romantic comedy / curtis sittenfeld
tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow / gabrielle levin
i have some questions for you / rebecca makkai
old enough / haley jakobson
biography of x / catherine lacey
the guest / emma cline
articles & essays.
“frog” / anne fadiman, harper’s magazine
everything that sara holdren writes as the theater critic for new york magazine
also, everything that helen shaw writes as the theater critic for the new yorker
“40 days of dating” / jessica walsh & timothy goodman
rave reviews for cityscrape (hee hee) / john r. ziegler & leah richards, thinking theater nyc, rhiannon ling, the theatre times
“thank you for the music: an oral history of mamma mia!” / keaton bell, vogue
“birthday letters (ii)” / arbiter of distaste
poems.
four monostiches by john ashbury
some poems by fourth graders
“here are my black clothes” / louise glück
also, “telemachus’ detachment” / louise glück
“sad” / jeremy radin
other stuff.
“redacted gratitude lists from the second year of the plague” / eugene lim
swamp driver monthly / sophie mcintosh
[title card here] / mia fowler
129 ways to get a life / emily bice
seeing.
theater.
merrily we roll along / george furth & stephen sondheim, dir. maria friedman, new york theater workshop (and now playing on broadway)
wolf play / hansol jung, dir. dustin wills, mcc theater
here we are / david ives & stephen sondheim, dir. joe mantello, the shed
room, room, room, in the many mansions of eternal glory for thee and for everyone / philip santos schaffer & syd island & andy boyd, the brick
the immortal jellyfish girl / gwendolyn warnock & kirhan waage, wakka wakka & 59e59
stereophonic / david adjmi, dir. daniel aukin, playwrights horizons
calf scramble / libby carr, dir. gabby farrah, workshop theatre
you got older / clare barron, dir. elka wade, yale university, starring my sister
tv.
the bear, season 2, especially “forks” and “fishes”
succession, season 4, especially “connor’s wedding”
the other two, season 3
only murders in the building, season 3
veep, the whole thing (oops)
jury duty, season 1
yellowjackets, season 2
barry, season 4
the gilded age, season 2
honorable mentions for rewatches: fleabag, new girl, you, and friday night lights
movies.
are you there, god? it’s me, margaret / dir. kelly fremon craig
may december / samy burch, dir. todd haynes
past lives / dir. celine song
barbie / greta gerwig & noah baumbach, dir. greta gerwig
oppenheimer / dir. christopher nolan
places.
bodrum, turkey
art farm, nebraska
caledonia, michigan
topsham fair, maine
stamford, england
prospect park dog beach, brooklyn
hearing.
albums.
stick season (we’ll all be here forever) / noah kahan
guts / olivia rodrigo
the record / boygenius
the rise and fall of a midwest princess / chappell roan
songs.
“snow angel” / reneé rapp
“you’re losing me” / taylor swift
“the keep going song” / the bengsons
“i’m just ken” / ryan gosling
“if i were a fish” / corook and olivia barton
“people change” / mipso
“long live” / taylor swift
“camp isn’t home” / theater camp
“there it goes - acoustic” / maisie peters
“video games” / jensen mcrae
“labour” / paris paloma
“out in public” / sofía campoamor
podcasts.
dead eyes / connor ratliff, headgum
standoff / ruth graham, slate podcasts
case 63 / oscar isaac & julianne moore, spotify studios
culture study / anne helen petersen
playlists.
“fall 23” (courtesy of my friend emily)
my spotify “daylist,” which i won’t be linking here to preserve the sanctity of my separate “daylist” group text
making.
theater.
production of cityscrape / sophie mcintosh, dir. me, good apples collective
reading of the settled / sophie mcintosh & me, dir. me, good apples collective & art farm
two readings of wakeman / jenn grinels, dir. me, tbd theatricals
cast 2 install for another rose / asher young and andrew neisler, dir. ben hobbs, asst. me, virgin voyages
several readings of femboy / farrah rotman, dir. me
production of the cutoff (short play) / sophie mcintosh, dir. me, columbia university
production of my new year’s resolution (short play) / kallan dana, dir. me, 24 hour plays: nationals
movement workshop for cunnicularii / sophie mcintosh, dir. me, movement direction by willow funkhouser, good apples collective
other stuff.
good apples collective (!!!)
free resources for indie theater artists
a barn / shed / structure out of wood and metal at art farm
steak lettuce wraps with shredded carrot and mayo drizzle
morning pages (even though i stopped doing them)
drunk watercolors in the company of heroes and friends
this newsletter, which i still can’t believe you all read
HONORED TO BE ON THE LIST
what a year!!!