As a card-carrying Virgo, I tend to follow the rules. It took me a few decades to learn to color outside of the lines, literally + figuratively (oh, the gift of getting older!). I am a follow-the-rules-kind-of-gal. For better or worse.
Earlier this week, when I stayed up until 3 am figuring out substack (only mildly figuring it out, by the way), I created a header and called it Tammi Salas, the Creative Muse. It was short + simple.
And, well, pretty boring (and safe).
Very quickly I heard from a friend about the name of this substack and how she didn’t think the name expressed how dynamic I was. Me? Dynamic? Yes, me. Dynamic. After starting a blog in 2008, recovering out loud for the past almost 9 years, hosting a recovery + creativity podcast with my creative partner-in-crime for four years straight with over one million downloads and running + maintaining my own online creative community membership, it was definitely time to accept the term Dynamic as a compliment and a truth.
I’ve been sharing parts of my life through my blog since 2008.
I’ve been posting my forays with art, motherhood + creative passion projects on Instagram since 2013.
I’ve been recovering out loud from alcohol since 2015.
I’ve been sharing my daily gratitude lists publicly on Instagram since 2016.
I’ve been open with my grief after losing my best friend in 2017.
I separated from my husband at the end of 2019.
We all navigated a pandemic!
Divorce.
Grief.
Empty Nest.
Cancer.
Dementia (my mother’s).
Falling in Love.
Travel.
Big move to Oakland, California after 20+ years on the Sonoma Coast.
Cancer, again.
I’ve learned so much over these past 15 years about myself, my creativity + what makes me tick. I’ve battled the inner critic (her name is Vicki), had a lot of self-doubt but, ultimately, I feel more comfortable than I’ve ever felt in my own skin.
Using my creativity to recover from all the things is the only way I know how to navigate the hard stuff and I want to share it more here with you.
To that end, I gave myself full permission to be transparent with this community about my creative journey and the ups and downs of making art, making progress and making up my mind to stop caring so much about what other people think.
I have big plans in the coming year for us.
I’m still navigating substack and learning all the ins-and-outs of it. I’m using the adage, start before you’re ready (but I think I am MORE than ready…just not technologically savvy) and pushing myself forward. I hope you’ll allow me the grace to figure it all out in real time with all of you.
To that end, I’m giving myself permission to rename this substack The Gold Star Diaries starting today. And guess what? It could change again. I do what I want!
As a grown woman in mid-life, who has a desk drawer full of gold star stickers and identifies as a recovering perfectionist, I think it fits.
Instead of hoping I’ll get a gold star from someone else, I am now giving them to myself. Embracing my imperfections has been my life’s work. As I settle into my fifties, it feels like I deserve ALL THE GOLD STARS. Maybe you do, too?
This substack will be the place I share my little victories (big and small), my creative process + how I’m recovering and re-discovering who I really am.
Minus the alcohol.
Minus the insecurity.
Minus the rules.
Minus the shame.
Minus the perfectionism.
I’m forging my own way and creating my own creative ‘chore chart’ in my logbook and giving myself ALL THE GOLD STARS when I complete a project. I look forward to sharing it with all of you.
Permission to do the same.
xo, Tammi
This is what I’m talkin’ about 🌟🌟🌟
LOVE “The Gold Star Diaries,” Tammi! In fact, my very first thought was, “That is so f*cking perfect.” And then I smiled at the irony. ;) Thank you for the much-needed permission slip and beautiful reflections. This already feels like a really good place to be 🌟