My Gaggle
A "gaggle" is actually a group of geese, but in this case it's my group of girlfriends.
This week’s post from me, Gabby, I feel like is a genuine mish-mosh of what’s been happening in my life and a tangent. Thanks for bearing with me as this week doesn’t seem to have a profound message, but hopefully a few interesting tid-bits and an ode to my ladies!
The last couple of weeks have felt like a marathon - work has been busier than ever and finding time to tackle my standard weekly to-dos felt daunting. I knew I was overcommitted and could feel it, just didn’t have a way to figure out how to tackle it. The people pleaser in me so badly wants to be there for everyone and do everything I have said yes to - flaking on a plan gives me extreme anxiety. BUT, it’s important to remind myself that, in order to be my best-self for those I spend time with, I have to find a way to reach daily equilibrium.
Some fun things I did recently include…
Lunched at Cafe Sabarsky where we promptly ordered multiple slices of cake off the menu
Took a curated tour at the Guggenheim thanks to work - we learned about the building architecture, some standing highlights, and had a brief look at the “Going Dark” exhibition
Took Sunny to the ER after she had an allergic reaction (totally Type III fun)
Bought Paris Texas boots off The RealReal, got this sweater dress to go with them and help with the winter to spring transition, and my mom kindly treated me to these Theory pants on major sale!
What I wish I had also bought includes this strapless top (seems cute for spring dates?!) and this skirt - I feel like I’m in a skirt era. Please send me anything you think I should add to my Pinterest wishlist board
Had a Galentine’s dinner at Jeans! A hodgepodge group of gals came together and we had a very late dinner, danced in the club (can’t remember the last time I did that) and then had a second, late dinner at JG Melon’s. Jackie and I were out until 3AM and I feel like I’m still in recovery
Followed a weekend recovery regimen which included a delicious brunch at Nectar with Jackie and friends, bed by 9PM on Saturday, a long Sunday park walk (two actually! One with Sunny at sunrise and another with girlfriends), a visit to the Met for the opening day of the Harlem Renaissance exhibit, and yoga
Dinner at Jeans was truly a highlight for me - I love nothing more than to bring people from different parts of my life together, making new connections for myself, and watching friends of friends form their own bonds. I especially love this amongst girlfriends.
was just launched by Nina Motter and her second post shares…Women show up for each other in ways that none of our various boyfriends ever could–and not by any fault of their own. There’s just such profound, almost spiritual intimacy in the simple act of being girls together.
I cannot tell you how much I love this and agree. Maybe it’s because I have a sister who is everything to me, or because I grew up going to an all-girls school, or was blessed with a large group of girlfriends at Taft (all of whom I could call up today in a pinch and they’d be there for me). I am a loud and proud girls-girl.
There is something you get from your girlfriends that cannot be replaced by your parents, a boyfriend/boy SPACE friend, or anyone else. And when I say girlfriends, I mean any (genuine and kind) girl - from your bestie to the girl you run into in the bathroom. Girls are empathetic, motherly, warm, judgemental at the right time and overly-supportive. Girls love to cheer each other on and the success of my girlfriends genuinely feels like my success.
My friend Steph organized a staycation for me, her and our other friend Molly the other weekend. We stayed at The Pendry, ate at ZouZou’s and saw a musical. Yes, the itinerary was amazing, but the best parts were sitting in our hotel room talking about nonsense until we realized dinner was in 10 minutes, continuing conversations over dips and bread, and then cozying up together until we could no longer keep our eyes open. We just wanted to be together. It wouldn’t have mattered where we were or what we were doing. The chance to get together with, what felt like was, unlimited time was truly priceless. There’s something, for me, about getting together with girls I lived with during my crazy teenage years - we lack boundaries, are honest and open, and so, so silly together. I could have cried when we parted ways, but my cup was too full to let tears be the ending marker of the weekend. Side note: Steph is an incredible travel agent through her company Four Day Weekend and we got upgraded to a one-bedroom suite! Perfect for our 24 hour antics.
On the other hand, there is also something freeing about making girlfriends when you’re older and have a greater sense of who you are. January 2023 I texted a group of girls where no one had the number of anyone else in the chat besides mine and Book Club was formed. The original five were girls who I knew had good hearts, were likely to be reliable in attendance, and people I just wanted to spend more time with. Everyone was down for the Club without question and showed up eager for a new experience. The group grew eventually to eight and we became inseparable. Everyone diligently attends, books are read (for the most part), and we’ve all discovered new friendships. We spend one night together a month, but that night lasts hours talking about each others’ highs and lows of the moment…and a whole lotta gossip.
The girlfriends I have made throughout my life make me feel at home and safe. Glennon Doyle’s memoir “Untamed” has a passage I think of often…
“Years ago, my ex-husband went out to dinner with an old friend who had just had a baby. They stayed out for hours, and when Craig got home, I said, “Tell me everything! What’s the baby’s name?”
Craig said, “Hm. I don’t know.”
I said, “What? Okay. How’s it going at home? Are they exhausted? Is the baby sleeping? How’s Kim doing with it all?”
“I didn’t ask".”
“Okay. How’s his mother? Is the cancer getting worse?”
“He didn’t mention it.”
“Wait. What did you talk about for two hours?”
“I don’t know. Work. Soccer?”
I remember looking at Craig and thinking: I wouldn’t trade places with him for all the money in the world. I would not have made it through early parents without honest friends to talk through how hard it was. It must be so lonely to be a man. It must be so difficult to carry by yourself all the things we were meant to help each other carry.” Untamed, 167-168.
My girlfriends have an ability to make the most mundane activity extremely fun. The best hangouts are those where we are sitting for hours on end, talking in circles, reminiscing and having some “ah-ha” moments. I can call Jackie and we’ll talk for a bit and then sometimes spend 45+ minutes in silence on the phone together while we’re each doing various errands or tasks. They say you know someone counts you as a true friend when they let you into their messy house. I also think true friendship can be described as a get together where the only plan is simply being together.
I am so lucky to have a gaggle of girls who help carry me through life. From the new friends I met at Jeans, to the girls I am starting to spend more time with in my 30s, to the friends I have known since I was four, 13, and 18. I will never stop investing in my friendships and I hope all my ladies know how important they are to me.
The real definition of gaggle made me think of the quote "If you're a bird, I'm a bird". In that moment, Noah is saying this to Allie because he’s so committed to her - whatever she wants to be and whatever she wants to do, he will be there by her side. I feel that way for my girlfriends - I’m committed to them, who they are now, who they’ll become, and wherever they live. Thus maybe my gaggle of gals is just a gaggle; we’re all birds together.
This is so sweet. Beautifully written. Thanks for the shoutout angel!
Definitely get the Staud skirt!!!! I’m loving everything they’ve put out recently