Ethan
Comes now the story of Ethan.
No scam was too insidious for Ethan. He was born to a young mother who was not able to care for him and gave her baby up for adoption to a well off couple.
He grew up with immense wealth and the trappings of wealth. Ethan adapted to the lifestyle of plutocracy and took well to the pursuit of money.
To his mind, all endeavor for money was a scheme, so what difference did it make as to how. As he came of age, Ethan developed a penchant for confidence schemes.
In school he earned money by selling protection to students from bullies. He took a small portion of his profits and paid it to the bullies in exchange for them leaving his clients in peace. As he entered college, Ethan brokered research papers and essays which he claimed to have written but were actually just recycled from other students' papers that he'd received from the trash.
Once he finished his education, Ethan tried a pyramid scheme with collectible stamps that were really worthless stickers he printed to adhesive paper stock.
In all of his attempts, he had been caught. The bullies eventually turned on Ethan and took all of the money. He was kicked out of college after selling an essay to a student working undercover for university police. The stamp pyramid collapsed when one of his sellers underneath him was arrested for fraud. Ethan was able to escape responsibility thanks to attorneys paid for by his parents.
Seeing all of this the moon came to Ethan one evening and told him that he was eventually going to find a way to navigate a scam without responsibility. While the solution would be simple, he would pay for it with his soul, the moon told him.
Ethan discovered a classic scheme whereby a fund manager gathers money from clients to invest in various markets. The manager gives the clients false statements declaring that the value of their investment is increasing when in reality there is no value. The manager simply keeps the money to themself. When enough clients are invested into the fund and a particular client wants to cash out, the manager takes from the money he has and pays the value of the account. The plan works wonderfully so long as new investors are constantly being brought into the fold.
Such schemes usually implode when the economy falters and too many people try to pull out their money at the same time.
It had been done many times by others with bad endings. It was a well-worn path which meant that regulators were able to sniff out such schemes when they grew to be too big.
Ethan, however, devised a variation of the plan. The crux of the classic scheme was keeping the investment flowing in and none of the money flowing out. He created a new legal framework through a lawyer whereby anyone investing in his new fund would have to sign documents whereby Ethan would keep their money if they died while still invested in the fund.
So the selling started. Ethan worked his contacts that he had from college as well as those he knew in the wealthy circles of his parents. While most were skeptical, he was able to earn the confidence of some clients and launch his fund.
Then the growth came. Ethan began issuing the exceedingly stellar financial statements to his clients. Word got out on the high returns he was bringing. Eventually, referrals started coming in and the number of investors swelled. Ethan’s fund grew.
Unlike most people who have attempted the scheme, Ethan realized that he had to control its growth. Because too much growth at too rapid a pace increased the probability that he’d be caught. So he set out to be more selective about the types of clients that he took on. The irony of his choice is that it only increase demand because he developed a reputation for exclusivity. Ethan maintained the course.
Then the investigation started. While rapid success tends to bring about more clients, it also tends to bring more attention from curious bureaucrats. As a student of his scheme’s history Ethan planned for this. All of the money invested in his fund were placed in private, offshore accounts. This made them beyond the reach of regulators thus putting Ethan beyond the reach of the law.
Then the murder started. One of his clients, an older woman, tried to withdraw from the fund when the economy hit a small slump. Ethan relented and told her he would draw up the papers for her to pull out. Before she could sign the documents, she mysteriously wound up with a slashed throat while taking a vacation in a third world country. Another wavering client was found shot dead on their porch. Another was stabbed while jogging.
Ethan realized that he couldn’t continue to kill in calculated violent hits. The deaths had to have some mystique. Etan noticed there was less suspicion when a client died in circumstances that only a wealthy person could die. One timid client died while on a big game hunt. He was gored by an endangered rhinoceros. Another died when their hang glider malfunctioned. Another had a mysterious allergic reaction and choked to death while eating sea urchin at an exclusive restaurant. Another drowned when he try to set the world free diving record.
While Ethan managed to contain his losses through the murder, he knew that he had to let some of his clients go. In the class that he let go cannot always be small clients. So when one will have a client decided to pull out of the fund, Ethan let him. It hurt him to watch the client leave, but it had to be the exception that proves his rule.
Over time, Ethan’s fund developed a reputation. People could cash in but it was rare that they cashed out. He managed to escape the law but not the laws of economics. Gradually the number of new clients slowed. But it never stopped entirely. Ethan adjusted to the new flow and continued to maintain his murder/profit ratio for his benefit and years passed without the scam being discovered.
As he approached old age Ethan thought about the havoc that would unleash with his death. He thought about bringing in a new manager to take over but felt it would be best to let it all end with him.
The moon had been wrong, Ethan thought. All the murder had cost him nothing. Ethan laughed. He couldn’t pay in a currency that he didn’t have.