Young shavers today have no idea of self-sacrifice. At my golf club, many of us long ago urged a return to national service. The country has been overrun with immigrants, lady-boys and wooftahs. A short spell spud-bashing and sniffing cordite might well resolve many of our problems.
Gads, I only wish I were younger. I'd give Ivan, Turban Charlie, Froggy and Fritz a damn good hiding. I was unlucky enough to miss both national service and armed conflict. There's no reason those younger than me should suffer the same; it's well past time that any number of foreigners were given a taste of British steel. The French in particular appreciate a drubbing from 'les Rosbifs'.
Steady the Buffs and get at 'em! My eldest boy Toby/Tanya is flirting with gender realignment, through a kebab shop on the Cowley Road which offers student discounts for 'the chop'. If only he'd been called up at 18! Instead, he read Geography at Bournemouth and returned in a mini-skirt, boob-tube and snake-skin thigh boots (plus Cuban heels).
Rest assured, I'll be roaring our young 'uns on from my armchair. Alas, my salad days are over. Of course I stand ready but it would be selfish to take the place of some young subaltern, yet to smell gunpowder. No, I can serve best by empurpling my face at the 19th hole. Nobody should underestimate the sacrifice I'll be making.
Allah Akbars all round!
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Paul Sutton's satirical/lyrical pieces on freedom of speech haters.
Oh , I can barely breathe with laughing! I know that Turban Charlie geezer, makes turbans at a local mosque in the interests of diversity and community inclusion. He even wear one of those man dresses while there to blend in with the trannies and Arabs- smashing chap…..
As for giving Fritz and Diego a darn good thrashing- we’ve done it before and by gad can get at ‘em again- all immigrants on the front line tally - go