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My Manager REFUSES To Give Feedback!

Dev Leader Weekly 86

Dev Leader

Mar 08, 2025

TL; DR:

Feedback is critical for career growth.
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My Manager REFUSES To Give Feedback!!!

Why Feedback Is Important

If you've started working full-time as a software developer, you've probably heard this already. In fact, you're probably sick of hearing it at this point but it still needs to be said:

Feedback is a critical part of being able to grow and improve.

This is especially true when it comes to growing in our careers as software developers. Not only can feedback come from peers and colleagues, but it can (and very much should) be coming from your manager as well.

When we're set up to have open and effective communication with our manager:

We work towards alignment on expectations
We reduce surprises in terms of performance
We reduce uncertainty in our priorities
We have a better understanding of our strengths and weaknesses

But what happens when that communication channel isn't open? What does it look like if we don't have feedback from our manager?

You may be uncertain about what's expected of you at your level in your role.
You may think you're rockin' it, but your performance review leaves you feeling quite the opposite
You may not understand your priorities
You may have blind spots in your skills, abilities, and experience

Having open and effective communication with your manager doesn't guarantee it, but it's certainly going to help with enabling feedback. So, what should we be doing if there isn't actually a solid feedback loop with our manager? Is it possible our manager is just refusing to provide us feedback?!

You can watch more on this topic over at Code Commute:

Are You Asking For Feedback?

As an engineering manager, I'll be the first to say it: Good engineering managers should be giving you feedback! You should have an idea of your strengths, weaknesses, and feel like you have alignment on what you should be focused on for career progression. A good manager will be making sure that happens!

Unfortunately, it's not a great strategy to hope you have a good manager that will do this for you. Nobody cares more about your career progression than you -- and that means you need to be in the driver's seat. You might already know that, but a reminder doesn't hurt.

So if you're not getting feedback from your manager... ask for it! Make it known that you would like:

To focus on areas for career growth for the next level
Understand what you can improve upon
Get clarity on your priorities

Some advice that I've given people in the past is to try and understand how to communicate with your manager effectively. For example, if I have employees ask me for feedback on the spot, I am generally unprepared. I'll let them know some high-level feedback, but I take that opportunity to:

Acknowledge that my employee is seeking additional feedback. This is a signal I can and should provide feedback more often.
Carve out some dedicated time when I can provide some specific feedback.

... And that will lead us nicely into the next topic: Specific feedback!

Are You Asking For SPECIFIC Feedback?

This article is based on the Code Commute video that I linked towards the start, but that video was based on a Reddit post where a developer claimed their manager was refusing to provide feedback. I thought this was interesting because explicitly refusing to give feedback sounds like a bit of a stretch -- but it made me think maybe there's some room for misunderstanding.

Maybe you're like this developer and you HAVE asked your manager for feedback. Maybe you've found you get this canned response of "you're doing good" or it feels almost evasive because there's nothing of value that your manager is providing back to you.

That might not actually be your manager "refusing" to give you feedback. That could just be extremely ineffective feedback.

One thing we can do to try and get better feedback AND unlock being able to ask for feedback more regularly is to ask for SPECIFIC feedback. So, instead of saying "Hey Nick, could I get some feedback on how I'm doing?", let's consider some examples of how to change it up:

Hey Nick! I sent out the draft for my design review. Could you give me some feedback on how I presented the analysis comparing the options?
I've just finished the update for sending out to the stakeholders of the project. Could you give me some suggestions on how I can improve my communication?
I'm working on these two projects that I understand to be high-impact. Could you give me some feedback on your visibility into these and if you think I should be adjusting my priorities to be more successful?

These are all just hypothetical examples -- but they're more specific than "Can I have some feedback?". Try considering:

What do you want feedback on? Project? Skill? Expectations for growth areas?
What is the goal of the feedback? Clarity and understanding? Alignment? Checkpoint?

You will find that when you ask for more specific feedback that you'll often get more helpful and actionable feedback -- but you'll also be able to ask for feedback more often. This is because instead of getting "you're doing good" on repeat, each time it can be more pointed feedback to help you out.

Are Your Options Exhausted?

At the end of the day, if you've been making an effort to try and get a more effective feedback loop with your manager and it's simply not working, it may be time to evaluate where you're at. I truly believe that if you're not under a manager that you feel is supporting you, then you'll find it hard to grow in your career.

Now, that doesn't necessarily mean jump ship. You might be learning a lot on the project you're on. You might be in a good place in terms of work/life balance and you're enjoying where things are at. You might have a million different reasons why switching teams or companies for a manager who can provide feedback isn't a good move right now -- and I get it.

If you're trying to advance your career beyond where you're at, it's certainly possible without a good feedback loop... But you might find it challenging. You might find it slow. It may cause you some frustration.

So when you're ready to drive more attention to feedback: Consider if you're able to shift the conversation with your current manager, or if it's worth finding a manager who will support you more effectively.

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