Trump Forced to Listen to 45 Minutes of Balalaika Music After Putin Puts Him on Hold

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Negotiations over Ukraine appeared to stall on Friday after Russian President Vladimir Putin kept Donald Trump on hold for 45 minutes listening to balalaika music.

According to White House sources, Trump consumed 18 cans of Diet Coke during the lengthy musical interlude.

Although the Russian president never picked up his call, Trump took to Truth Social to declare it a “perfect phone call.”

“President Putin honored me by ordering his Russian banjo players to sarrinade (sic) me for ALMOST AN HOUR!” Trump wrote. “He never would have done that for Sleepy Joe!”

TBR Question of the Day: What on-hold music would you force Trump to listen to? Leave your answer below:

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