I once marked an undergraduate dissertation arguing that music would be a suitable language for first contacting aliens, using only three pieces of evidence (each repeatedly): the poet T. E. Longfellow’s assertion that music is a universal language; the fact that the Beatles were banned in soviet-era Czechoslovakia; and Koko the painting gorilla (whose case, unbeknownst to the student, like all “talking” animals involved serious academic malpractice, including male handlers training Koko to sex…

My students have yet to realize this. Reading their 3am ramblings brought on by procrastinating to the point of delusion fuels me