As a full-time critical care physician, who is 10 years out of training and has been treating COVID since the beginning of the pandemic, I believe my first-hand experience has given me a good deal more insight than most. These are only my thoughts and opinions, take them with a grain of salt.

Fist, I do think the "vaccines" (novel biologics) likely had some short-lived efficacy in preventing severe disease and death from COVID, at least for the native strain and in vulnerable patients. Keep in mind, the number of truly vulnerable patients is quite low. And, I do believe there is pressure for escape variants with mass use of these biologics. Deploying them to non-vulnerable patients has likely been a very, very big mistake.

Second, the protection afforded by these novel biologics comes at a cost. Hence, physicians have traditionally utilized a risk-benefit ratio when making a recommendations to patients about their therapies. No drug has a zero risk. However, to provide an adequate picture of the risk-benefit comparison in a particular patient we MUST HAVE ACCURATE AND TIMELY DATA on the effects of the therapy. Neither of these have been provided during this pandemic, likely intentionally. And my gut instinct is that the published data which paints such a glowing picture of these biologics is highly suspect and skewed. Pushing these biologics on patients with near zero risk from COVID, having absolutely ZERO information of long-term effects (which increasingly appear to be very real and quite serious) is reprehensible and morally bankrupt.

That being said, the risk of potential adverse events from the biologics was probably NOT outweighed by the benefit in patients with advanced disease states and limited lifespan who are at very high risk of death from COVID. The same can certainly not be said for the remaining 99% of the world population. I am astounded by my profession's complete abandonment of this principle of risk vs. benefit. It is absolutely surreal to me to hear those who seem to be relatively informed, level-headed clinicians claim that "everyone should get vaccinated to stop the pandemic." It is an absurdity and flies in the face of both common sense and basic human physiology.

In the same vein, HCQ and Ivermectin are not without risk. However, there are small trials which have shown some benefit in both early and late treatment of severe COVID. Granted, one must dig through the backwaters of the internet to find these data, they are certainly not published in the mainstream medical journals. I wholeheartedly believe patients and their families should be offered the opportunity to utilize these agents if the risk and benefit are properly presented and disclosed. It is morally sound and is governed by the same principle as the "Right to Try" legislation which many of my colleagues seem so supportive of. Why that principle has been completely disregarded in the case of COVID leaves me dumbfounded and frustrated. If I order ivermectin for a patient, my hospital pharmacy has been instructed by the administration to cancel the order and inform me that I am not allowed to prescribe it. This seems very much like practicing medicine without a license, and I hope will one day be adjudicated with the hospitals held to account.

The vaccinated vs. unvaccinated question is also a troubling one. The data from the US should probably be completely disregarded. At my own facility, and those of my colleagues with whom I have had discussions, the documentation of a patient's vaccine status is abysmal. If hospital documentation is being utilized to determine these numbers, it is probably highly inaccurate. What I can tell you is that I work in a low vaccine-uptake state. I have a single patient with COVID on the ventilator at the moment, despite being at a 400-bed level 2 trauma center. And, that patient is confirmed vaccinated. Anecdotal, but true nevertheless.

Finally, I would also share my experience of treating COVID for 2 years. This is a disease that primarily causes severe illness in the obese and unhealthy. This is rarely discussed, and I'm not sure why. I would estimate that 80+% of my ventilated COVID patients over the pandemic have been obese or morbidly obese. All of the Vitamin D and Zinc in the world will not prepare an unhealthy, morbidly obese body for the onslaught of this virus. Because no studies have been done targeting this population, I have no way of knowing for sure - however I suspect that HCQ and ivermectin would have limited utility in these patients as well, certainly in the late stages of the disease. We are a nation of unhealthy, fat, inflamed bodies. And no quantity of statins and ace inhibitors, beta blockers or insulin will fix that. Pills do not provide health. They suppress disease, to a point, and may mask symptoms. But only diligence and work, an active and intentional seeking of health - mediated primarily by both diet and lifestyle, brings about true protection from any number of sinister pathologies waiting to strike.

What has happened here is sick. My profession is sick. The American population has lost faith in their healthcare system and providers, and I count myself among those who no longer put any degree of trust in the major institutions and watchdogs that stood guard against our current debacle. You are right to be angry and disgusted. Medicine has abandoned its core tenants and joined in the mass hysteria that has taken such an abrupt hold on our nation and the world. Reason and thoughtfulness have disappeared, replaced instead by snap judgement and knee-jerk reactivity without any real data or science to support them.

I have been granted a vaccine exemption by my own facility, out of sheer desperation on their part. The pandemic has left us dramatically understaffed and loss of another physician would likely have dire consequences to maintaining daily operations. I will remain unvaccinated and I quietly tell patients my own views on use of these biologics and their potential risks. At some point, I expect "they" will come for my head as well.

To the American public, please accept a sincere apology for what my profession has done here. A small number of us are mortified and embarrassed. I can only hope that the public can begin to trust their doctors again, though I fear that day is a long, very long way off.