Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They’ve fallen into a careful routine, the two of them.

It’s been three months since her return, and they’ve begun to put the pieces of their friendship back together. It feels delicate, in a way right now, as if it could shatter so easily, all over again if they aren’t careful. But at the same time, it feels the opposite of that.

Kara settles into their friendship. Their friendship is nice, a gently burning lovely light that makes her feel warm. Each little act of normalcy is like a little patch covering up the cracks in their friendship.

She visits Lena at her office to make sure she actually eats and to simply spend time with her, and Lena takes Kara out to a restaurant every Saturday night, treating her to dinner. Every time Lena does, Kara finds herself devouring an inhumane amount of food, not having to worry about paying and the costs because, well.

She almost never has to pay because Lena is dangerous and too powerful for her own good; she’s persuasive and charismatic, and she gets inordinately happy (rosy cheeks, soft, big smile, dimpled) when she gets to treat Kara to food. Happy is a good look on her. It’s impossible to turn down her gestures, so she allows Lena to treat her as much as she wants.

Alex has a nasty habit of calling those nights a date. Kara always disagrees.

When Kara quietly touches down on Lena’s office balcony, her eyes scan to see if there’s anyone in the office. There’s only one person there. It’s just Lena behind her desk, her back facing Kara. She’s sitting in her seat, not looking at her tablet and just rubbing at her temples, and Kara knows she isn’t having a good time right now.

Stepping into Lena’s office, she makes her entrance quietly and softly so as to not surprise her friend.

“You look like you could use a hug,” Kara says, and there’s a rise in Lena’s heartbeat when Lena registers her presence.

Lena stands from her seat, a tired sigh falling from her lips. She looks at her tablet, probably to check the time, and a look of surprise takes over her face.

“Oh, it’s lunch time already.” Lena grimaces, a little. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to forget. Time escaped me and work’s been—”

“No, no, it’s okay.” Kara shakes her head, places their bag of lunch on the coffee table, and walks towards Lena. She grins and waves Lena off when Lena manages to squeeze in another apology. “It’s really okay. No big deal.”

Lena smiles a little, embarrassed. She looks at Kara, and hesitates. Kara waits and waits, and eventually Lena rises to her tiptoes, slips her arms around Kara’s torso, and presses herself against Kara.

This gesture is nothing big, nothing special or different but it makes Kara feel like she's floating anyway. It's an automatic response, the way her arms cover Lena, one hand on the small of Lena’s back, the other on the back of her head.

“It’s kind of criminal how good you are with hugs,” Lena murmurs, tucking her face into Kara’s neck. Sometimes Lena likes to bury her face in Kara’s neck. It’s nice. Kara likes when Lena does that. She holds her tighter.

“My arms are made for hugging, haven’t you realized that yet?”

“Oh, I know.” Lena pulls back, but not without squeezing Kara’s arms. She leans against her desk, her eyebrow raising in a way that makes Kara’s whole being flicker and spark. “I’ve been aware since the moment I first saw your biceps,” Lena says easily, casually eyeing at Kara’s biceps with a soft smirk.

Oh. Well.

They have been flirting, haven't they. That is the thing that Kara has been actively partaking in for, well. Since the first time they met each other. It’s always been harmless; Lena can get playful and flirty. That’s the way she is.

“So you agree that my arms are made for hugging,” Kara states, smiling, can’t help it. She tilts her head a little, thoughtful. “I’ve always had these arms. Yet, a certain genius CEO hasn’t taken full advantage of them. Why?”

Lena laughs, loud and unrestrained. Either side of her mouth dimpling has Kara grinning.

Her friend arches her eyebrow in that devastating kind of way again, smirks that playful, flirtatious way again. “Careful, Ms. Danvers. I might start thinking you enjoy me being in your arms.”

“Well, I mean.” Kara frowns softly, scratching her brow. “Pretty much, yeah,” she admits. “You fit in perfectly snug.”

There’s silence. It’s quiet, but it actually isn’t; the rapid beating of Lena’s heart is loud in Kara’s ears. Kara stares at Lena and Lena stares right back, her expression unreadable.

Kara’s about to say something. Maybe backtrack in fear she’s said something weird, because again, their friendship is still delicate and Kara doesn’t want to make things weird, but then Lena looks away, shakes her head smiling, then stands.

“I do, don’t I?” Lena murmurs, walking across the room to fill herself a glass of water.

“Yeah,” Kara says quietly.

Sometimes Kara absurdly thinks she knows; things she shouldn’t, about Lena and her heartbeat and her lingering gaze and touches.

It’s incredibly noticeably different—the way she acts with Kara, and the way she acts with others. She can’t help but always take notice of it. It’s a recent thing, actually—Kara taking notice of… things. There’s that, but she can’t tell if these cases might just be coming from her overactive imaginations.

“Well, National City, watch out,” Lena says, snapping Kara out of her thoughts. She’s pouring a glass of water for Kara. “A Luthor’s just been given permission to take full advantage of your beloved Superhero and ace reporter’s hugs. She doesn’t know what she just signed up for. I can’t be blamed for what’s about to come for her.”

“Lena…” Kara flushes, laughs. She almost pokes her eye with her two fingers, realizing that she doesn’t have her glasses on to fiddle with. The sight makes Lena laugh, a pretty look plastering on her face that Kara can only describe as fond. Kara bites the inside of her cheek. “You’re trying to sound threatening but you just make me want to hug you more. You know, I happened to stumble across a very interesting study about hugs. They say that humans need eight hugs a day for maintenance. For growth, they need twelve hugs.”

“Kara, what.” Lena’s eyebrows are scrunched together like she’s confused, a quizzical smile on her face. She walks to the couch with two glasses of water, and gestures for Kara to come join her. “Eight hugs for maintenance. Twelve for growth. Wow, I don’t know what to say.”

Kara sits and reaches for the bag of lunch she got for them both on the coffee table. She bought Lena a poke salad bowl. With a wince as she eyes at the bowl, she pushes it towards Lena.

How Lena enjoys eating this stuff is beyond Kara.

Lena just chuckles.

“What? You think that’s too much?” Kara takes her first belly burger bite, settling on the couch comfortably. Their shoulders brush.

“I think that study sounds ridiculous.”

“You’re a woman of science, Lena. Look into the research before making such judgement. What kind of scientist does that?”

“So, our biggest and most groundbreaking topic today is some hug theory?” Lena rolls her eyes, smiling. She stabs her fork into her salad.

“It’s a proven scientific fact,” Kara huffs, and then takes her second big bite of her burger. “You don’t even wanna take a look? How about I do my own research and prove its accuracy. To you.”

“Okay, Kara,” Lena says drily. “Have fun.”

“You sound so enthusiastic for me, I’m touched.” Kara nudges her thigh with Lena’s. “I’m going to need participants. All participants will be rewarded greatly. And by participants, I actually only mean one, and that’s you.”

“Kara Danvers, if you would like a hug from me, just say so instead of going through all these hoops.” Lena’s lips twitch. “You could just walk up to me anytime, and do your thing. I’m that easy.”

“I know you are,” Kara says easily, agreeing.

“Wow?” Lena looks taken aback, and she blinks incredulously, which makes Kara grin. What pleases Kara isn’t the shocked look on Lena’s face but the lack of denial and protest. “If only National City knew how much Supergirl likes to get all cozy with a Luthor.”

“You’re going to be my only participant, it can’t be helped. There’s only one of me, I’m a hot item. Not everyone can receive hugs from me eight times a day.”

“I feel so honoured, Ms. Danvers,” Lena says with a lot of feeling. Obviously sarcastic. She’s teasing. She’s cute. It makes Kara want to hug Lena again, squish her right now.

“So, will you?”

“You mentioned rewards.” Lena hums, leaning back on the couch and crossing her legs. She holds a serious expression very well. Kara almost snorts. “What’s in it for me?” Straight to the point and business-like. That’s more like it.

“Ten dollars and my eternal friendship,” Kara deadpans and her delivery breaks her friend’s composure; Lena’s chuckling, cheeks dusting pink, grinning her crinkly-eyed, ever-radiant, quintessentially Lena grin.

Kara lets it sink in, enjoying the sight and lovely cadence of her laugh.

“Kara, you drive a hard bargain. I would treasure that, you know,” Lena says, poking into her salad. “Ten dollars, darling.” And, at that, Kara does snort.

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” Kara says with a shrug. Lena sighs, and shakes her head gently.

They sit in silence for a while, Lena enjoying the salad Kara bought for her, Kara enjoying Lena's company. It’s during times like this that it feels like things are back to how they’re supposed to be, the two of them against the world.

It’s… nice. Kara can’t help but think about how far they’ve come.

They don’t ignore what happened the past year. They don’t gloss over it (at least, not yet) and pretend it didn’t happen. They've had their ups and downs, shown their best and worst but still they have managed to care for each other.

They're still together despite what happened, still going strong because Kara and Lena both want that. They work for it. Kara and Lena aren’t the same Kara and Lena back then, and that’s okay.

Things are different. They've both changed, unable to hold back the way that time alters things. There’s familiarity mixed in with an edge of something new. It's not something to feel sad about but, perhaps, something to enjoy.

Discovering how they fit together all over again.

Kara’s on her second burger when she decides to shift a little closer to Lena, so their thighs press together, and smiles at Lena almost uncertainty when Lena looks at her. Lena leans in, just a little, presses her shoulder to Kara’s.

Kara softens.

The smell of their takeout food fills Lena's office, but with Kara this up close with Lena, Kara easily catches it. Lena’s expensive perfume and shampoo and something else that is entirely Lena. Kara quietly revels in the familiar, reassuring scent. It’s blissful to just sit like this, as close as they want, without having to worry about how it will look to anyone else.

(Lena, who was shyer and less touchy, it had taken a little longer. More than anything, she had looked startled when Kara unthinkingly held her hand for the first time, maybe a week or two into them knowing each other. Kara had shrunk back, conditioned to expect a response, apology already on her lips. But Lena had just smiled shyly and leaned into her a little, adding softly:

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”)

Recently Kara’s been a bit more openly affectionate. She can’t help it. Lena’s a comforting presence, she’s soft and beautiful and so, so tangible and just—there for Kara to reach out to.

The thing with Lena is that she leans into Kara's touches. She has a subtle way of telling Kara that she encourages it, without having to say a single word about it: leaning into Kara’s affection; smiling at Kara for it; tugging Kara’s shirt, silently asking for more; Kara hearing the gradual slowing of her heart beat, which tells Kara that Lena feels she’s safe and secured around her.

It’s terrible, actually. Lena is a terrible, terrible enabler, and because of that it only serves to make Kara want to touch her more. Call Kara weird, but she likes that she can be like this with Lena, likes that Lena lets her be like this with her, likes that Lena lets no one else be like this with her. Because Kara does notice it; how different Lena acts towards everyone else. Friends, close friends, and then there’s Kara.

“So. Um.” Kara reaches to adjust her glasses, and almost pokes her eyes again. Right. She doesn’t have her glasses on. Rao, she has to stop doing that. “I have something to tell you. M’gann thinks we’re dating.”

Lena stills for a moment, her fork pressed into the salad. Tilting her head, she smiles, bewildered.

“So it’s true, what they say. We really do have a habit of accidentally making people believe that we’re together.” There’s a mischievous glint in Lena’s eye. “Another person we have unintentionally fooled. How long’s the list now?”

Kara laughs, bright and clear, scratching her cheek. There’s a running joke in their group at this point. Kara loves that she can joke about this comfortably with Lena, because their friends are the total opposite. Any information about Kara and Lena together is used as ammo, and they’ll try to embarass them both whenever there’s an opening or opportunity. Vultures.

Kara strokes the rim of her cup, thinking.

“Lena?”

“Yes?”

“Did you know that Kelly too thought we were dating when... um. When we suddenly stopped talking and seeing each other for a while. She didn’t know me as Supergirl at the time.” It’s not the easiest topic to talk about because there’s still a certain heaviness that follows after, but it’s not as bad anymore. Now, she can bring it up and there will be no awkwardness with Lena. “At some point, Kelly asked Alex if we had broken up.”

Lena blinks, looking actually surprised and affected. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“Huh,” Lena murmurs, thoughtfully.

Kara kind of gets it. Five years with Lena, Kara is used to people thinking that way about them. It has never bothered her before (just gets flustered by it), and it doesn’t now. They’re each other’s person regardless of what label they put on themselves.

“And yet our friends still persist, teasing you even with the truth out.”

“Much as it pains me to admit it, I'm an easy target.” Kara smiles, embarrassed. “There’s a reason why they don’t poke you with the stick.”

“You just have to get back at them,” Lena says, considering. “Let them know that actions have consequences.”

Kara takes in another mouthful of food in her mouth. Her cheeks are bulging, and she isn’t really sure what Lena’s doing when Lena pulls her phone out. Lena lifts her phone, then. A second later, Kara hears Lena’s phone shutter going off.

“Wha—” Kara almost chokes, and tries to get all the food down her throat before speaking. “Lena! I had food in my mouth,” she whines, blinking fast.

Lena laughs, double dimples making an appearance, which calms Kara down. Only a little. Kara’s heart starts to speed up when she sees Lena tapping rapidly on her phone.

Kara barely has her phone open before a series of text messages are flooding through from Alex and Nia. It comes from the Superfriends’ group chat. Kelly created it for the sake of team bonding, or so she calls it.

Nia: Okay, no need to broadcast what you two are up to. We get it, you two are hanging out together again, right now. Go ahead and announce it to the whole world while you’re at it

Alex: I’d say great photo, Lena, but you ruined it with the caption. I really didn’t need to see that, thanks.

Kara scrolls up to look at the picture. It is as bad as Kara expects it to be. Her cheeks are bulging, there’s food stuck at the corner of her mouth, and Lena had caught her mid chew so her mouth is open.

The thing is, it’s not the picture that is horrifying. It’s the caption.

Lena: Guys. Emergency meeting. A snack and a meal, what do I try first?

“Lena!” Kara bursts out in a laugh, her cheeks rounding. “Me. A meal? Lena...” Speechless, yes. Flattered, also yes.

“A meal,” Lena confirms, and she’s looking at Kara fixedly, her lips curving into a dangerous attractive smirk that throws Kara off-balance. “See, Kara? If they push, you push back.”

“Yeah, but me? A meal?” Kara flushes.

“Come on now, Ms. Danvers. Surely you’re aware of how easy it is to look at you right now.” It’s just a compliment. Lena’s really nice.

“Only right now? I’m offended.” Kara ducks her head, smiles.

Self-consciousness creeps in, and she finds herself fiddling with the cuff of her rolled up sleeve, folding and unfolding. Both her sleeves are rolled up, tucked into a pair of black slacks, belt securing them around her waist.

For some reason, Lena’s eyes are on her forearms, and Kara doesn’t really know why Lena’s looking there, but she is.

“You’re okay on other days too,” Lena says, looking at her. Kara looks away, the sudden attention making her feel flustered.

“Why, thank you.”

It’s easy being with Lena. A conversation like this shouldn’t be so easy, but it is.

When their eyes meet again, Kara catches the smile on Lena’s face—it’s not playful, not mischievous, and it clearly isn’t a smile that looks like she’s having too much fun joking around. It’s a fond smile that melts at Kara’s heart, and.

And Kara, well. Kara smiles at her, too, and now they’re just quietly smiling at each other, and. It's nice—it’s very nice.

Kara feels at ease.

The sun outside sits high in the sky, turning the sky into a beautiful shade of yellow and orange. Kara starts collecting their rubbish, and Lena stands up to help her clean. Looking at the clock on the wall, Kara’s shocked to see the time. She doesn’t remember the time slipping through her fingers, but she guesses it has.

“Oh, it’s already… I should get going now,” Kara says, scrunching her nose.

“And I should get back to working,” Lena says, bowing her head a little. “Andrea’s coming here soon to go over some work with me.” Kara wonders what it is she keeps hearing in Lena’s voice, when she mentions Andrea. She doesn’t know much about their history, only knows that they had a falling out and they’re back to being friends. It’s always there, that something, and she sees it in Lena’s eyes too, when Lena rambles about work and Kara listens to her talk. She has no idea what it is.

“Stuck all day in the big boss office, huh?”

Lena nods. “I wish I could just lock myself in my lab and tinker with my tools, but today I’m packed with meetings and paperwork.”

Kara knows that Lena will never fault her for the slip of time, but she still feels a little embarrassed and guilty for taking Lena’s extra time. Her friend’s a busy woman. Kara’s busy too, but she has superspeed to get to places she needs to get to and she’s no CEO of a billion dollar corporation. Time is precious for a woman like Lena Luthor.

Lena follows her into the balcony, the sound of her high heels loud, clicking against the floor behind Kara. Looking up at the sky, Kara takes a brief moment to admire the vastness of it. The weather is gorgeous, yellow and orange painting the sky. A gentle breeze.

Lena is quiet behind her. “Kara?” she says then, and Kara turns around to face her. “Thank you.”

Her eyes are the deep mix of forest and ocean, calm on the surface, teeming with something underneath, and Kara can’t look at her for too long because it feels like getting dragged out by the undercurrent. Kara has to look away to catch her breath.

“For?” She lightly clears her throat.

“For the lunches, the visits,” Lena explains. “I really do appreciate that you take the time to come here to spend some time with me. It means a lot to me.”

They’ve had dozens of lunches together. Kara feels a light pink flush high forming on her cheeks and the tips of her ears as she looks at Lena’s shoulder. She smiles, scratches her cheek.

Lena’s never said it like that before.

“Of course. I like spending time with you,” Kara murmurs, and finally looks at her. Their eyes meet and hold.

Lena stands tall, illuminated by the gentle sunlight, and she looks untouchable, almost otherworldly. Her gaze is intense and piercing. Soft and sincere. Kara stares.

They hold and hold, Lena's gaze lingering long, Kara keeping up with her, something strange hanging between them. Kara’s the first to break—she smiles shyly, ducks her head, wets her lips. The sight must be amusing to Lena, because Lena just keeps staring, face inscrutable.

Lena reaches a hand out to Kara but—but she retracts it before it can rest on. On what? On Kara’s forehead, to tuck her hair behind her ear, on her cheek?

Kara doesn’t understand her hesitation. Knowing Lena for a whole five years, there are still some things she can’t quite understand.

Lena regards her silently, softly, staying exactly where she’s at. Unmoving. Ever the braver, Kara closes the gap, wrapping Lena into her arms.

“Maintenance hug,” she says quietly, next to Lena’s ear. “I should get going now. Bye, Lena.”

Lena nods, and Kara barrels into the sky.

Kara is typically good at succeeding in things she puts her mind to. For this task, however, she happens to be failing miserably.

She arrives at the Catco lobby and stands in front of the elevator, thinking about her current article. Her mind is in a slight haze from lack of sleep and she hasn't been able to give her article the attention it needs because new tasks that require Supergirl keep getting thrown at her. She’s two days past the deadline and Andrea hasn’t stopped breathing down her neck.

Kara stares at the elevator button, breathing slowly. Make it two tasks she’s doing terribly at. It’s just an elevator.

“Hey!” Nia greets her from behind. There’s a smile on Nia’s face when they meet eyes. “What are you doing just standing there? Andrea’s on a rampage right now. We just found out that CatCo dropped to third place on the monthly polls. Of course Daily Planet remains at the top,” she says with a grimace, rolling her eyes. When Nia presses the elevator button, Kara finds herself fiddling with the lapel of her coat. “Don’t get me wrong, I could care less about the polls. It’s just that the rankings really influence her mood, and we’re always behind and the ones that have to deal with her wrath.”

“Yeah.” Kara smiles a little. “I know what you mean.”

“I really miss Lena here. It’s been a while.”

“I miss her, too.” Kara hums, eyeing the elevator number indicator. It’s descending slowly, almost near their floor now. She shoves her hands in her pockets. “Things have changed… it’s better this way. Not being her employee, I mean. I like her as my friend. I also like that she’s able to focus on L-Corp again and spend more time in her lab, doing things she actually likes.”

“True,” Nia says thoughtfully, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Andrea hasn’t been that satisfied with her performance lately. Kara can’t bear the thought of disappointing Lena if she were still the boss. She’s had her moments with her when she was still running CatCo. While Lena is understanding and has a big heart, she’s also a businesswoman with a limit. She doesn’t put up with inadequacy, and that’s what makes her a great boss.

The elevator opens, and Nia steps inside. She taps on a button, looks at Kara who stays standing outside the cubicle, and cocks her head.

“Kara?” Nia looks at her curiously.

Kara follows after her. The doors close too slowly. Touching her glasses, she looks down at the ground, fingers stroking over her belt buckle.

“So, we’re still up for game night at Alex’s place in two days, right?”

“Yeah,” Kara says. Her breathing shakes a bit, and she thinks she should have just flown to her floor, or take the stairs. She's been doing that more often than not.

Nia nods in approval. “Good. I checked in with Brainy earlier and he said he’ll be able to make it this time.”

It’s quiet, for a bit.

“How’s it going with you and Lena, by the way?” Nia asks lightly, smiling at Kara. The name catches her attention. Nia's genuinely curious. “That post Lena sent earlier made Brainy’s eyes bulge. Today he learned the expressions 'looking like a snack' and 'meal'.”

“That must have been hard to explain.” Kara exhales in something like a laugh, and she wets her lips. “Um, we’re going good, I think. As you already know, we've been meeting and hanging out again... we talk and laugh, and sometimes it feels like old times. I’d like to think that we’re getting there.”

“That’s nice. I’m really happy for you two.”

They’re okay again, but sometimes… sometimes Kara’s unsure. Lena hesitates around her. She notices it, of course she does—being attuned to Lena. It comes in the form of Lena's hand reaching out for Kara and retracting it at the last second. It comes in the form of Lena hugging her goodbye, a smile on her face and other words left unsaid.

It’s as if she’s always holding back.

Kara wishes Lena didn’t feel unsure and careful around her, but she supposes she can’t expect Lena to be the same Lena after everything. Things have changed between them, and that’s okay. What’s important is that they’re talking again. Laughing again.

The elevator doors open, and Kara’s the first to step out.

“Work time,” Nia says, and they both see Andrea taking a phone call in her office. She’s sporting a frown, a displeased face as she talks into the phone, hand gesturing in the air wildly.

Kara and Nia both turn to each other, sighing, smiling.

“Let’s go.”

She gets the article done and Andrea gives her a somewhat satisfactory grade. Kara can tell that her boss is more than happy about the quality of her article, and the attention it will garner, but a deadline is still a deadline and it was missed. Andrea’s curt with her review and just shoots Kara a pointed look that’s meant to keep her on her toes.

Slipping out of CatCo, Kara decides to spend her lunch time in the Tower. She’s working on a case Nia sent her way just an hour ago, something about catching a new rogue alien in the city. On her way to the main area, she nearly bumps into someone who’s rounding the corner too fast, and her reflexes are so fast that she moves out of the direct line of collision, but their shoulders still hit.

“Ah—that hurt,” the woman says, stopping in her tracks. That voice is... “Sorry, that was my fault. I was careless. Did I scare you?”

“A little,” Kara says, and Alex offers her an apologetic smile. “In a hurry? What’s going on, is there an emergency?”

“Right now? No. There's Chinese takeout downstairs with my name on it.”

“Oh, uh—”

“Come with me?” Alex says, grinning. She’s dressed in her vigilante suit, and she looks polished and flawless. “I ordered enough for four people. It’s just us two here right now and I can’t eat it all, so help me out?”

“Alex... Do you even have to ask?” Kara chuckles, smiling, and they start walking together. Alex is rubbing her shoulder, mouth pursed into a tiny pout. “I’m working on a case with Nia right now, so I’ll just grab a couple of bites.”

“Sure, that’s fine. My shoulder feels like it’s about to fall off. You’re like a walking brick wall, you know that?” her sister mutters, and Kara shrugs her shoulders, laughing. “We should start installing mirrors around here to avoid future collisions.”

“That sounds like a good idea, actually.”

“Yeah? I’ll go talk about it with J’onn.” Alex’s face is thoughtful. “He’s open to suggestions, he was talking to me about it earlier. Finding ways to manage this place better. It just hasn’t been easy because the fund has to come from somewhere. So far, we’ve made this place look livable, at least.” It’s true. There are comfortable chairs to sit on, a couple of wardrobes full of clothes. Most areas resemble something close to home. There’s even a kitchen too, full of food and ingredients.

“I think I have an idea. Can I add a suggestion?” Kara asks, and Alex raises her eyebrows, face suspicious. “Hey! Why are you looking at me like that—I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“Okay. Shoot, Kara.”

“Trust me, it’s a really good suggestion. It will help improve the morale of the team.” Kara purses her lips. “So, we do a lot of moving around here, as well as thinking and strategizing. That costs energy, correct? And because of that we need constant fuel. Alex, I just think that every day, we should have fresh doughnut boxes—”

Alex groans loud, cutting her off. “I knew it. If you want food, you have to buy that yourself.”

Oh well. Kara tried. She shrugs, and Alex rolls her eyes, fond.

After a moment passes, Alex turns her head to look at Kara then.

“How’s it been going with you, by the way?”

“Good.” Kara blinks, craning her neck. “Nothing much is happening here, as always. You know me.”

“Right.” It’s quiet for a bit. “I know that… things haven’t been easy for you since the Phantom Zone. You were gone for a while. It wasn’t your first time there. It’s just… you’ve been quiet.” Alex opens and closes her mouth, furrowing her brows. “Kara. You’ll tell me when you need help? If something’s wrong?”

Kara visibly stiffens, looks at her back, and tries not to look mortified. It hasn’t been easy, readjusting to Earth, that she’ll admit. She hasn’t talked to anyone about this, so even the prospect of someone acknowledging what she’s going through makes her nervous.

Alex worries for her. Of course she does.

“I’m okay,” Kara settles with a quiet exhale. Alex has a lot on her plate right now—she has plans on getting married, and is in the process of adopting lovely Esme. Her own little precious family in the making. Alex has sacrificed so much already for her and right now she doesn’t need to be dragged down by Kara’s baggage. Actually, it’s not even a big deal. Kara’s managing and that’s good enough. “I’m okay,” she repeats herself, smiling this time. “I promise. You don’t have to worry about me, Alex.”

“I certainly hope so,” Alex says. “Sometimes I can't be sure because you just smile through everything.” The delivery is nonchalant, but it makes guilt rush into Kara’s chest regardless.

“Alex—”

“Don’t look so surprised. I know you, you goof.” Alex smiles, her forgiveness easy and gentle. “Just... I'm here for you, okay? If you need to talk about it? If you just need someone to listen, I can do that, too."

Her sister doesn’t press the issue, for which Kara is grateful. She flushes, scratching her brow.

“Thank you, Alex.”

Kara wakes up disoriented, her heart pounding. Sweat on her skin. Her body feels like it's sinking, separate from herself, and there’s a wave of nausea ringing through the back of her skull. She thinks she’s going to die.

It’s dark. Of course it’s dark, it’s night, but—

She opens her eyes, struggling to register her surroundings—it’s so dark. She can feel herself shaking as she tries to sit up as carefully as she can. Still nothing. Closing her eyes, she presses her hand to her forehead.

The dark feels oppressive. She’s not sure how loud she is or whether she makes any noise at all, because all she wants to do is catch her breath and fight off the heaviness trying to escape her lungs.

Breathe.

A minute passes. And then another minute. Kara doesn’t know how much time has passed by the time her breathing turns normal and her thoughts back in order. The wall is the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes again. There’s her desk and laptop, a nightstand. It’s clear, again. The clock on the wall says three AM.

Too early. There’s still a couple of hours more until she has to get dressed for work. Kara rubs her eyes, trying to remember what dream she was having. She can’t. Sighing softly, she gets off the bed. She's not going to catch anymore rest tonight, that much she knows.

The sky is dark and clear, and the stars, the plethora of them, shine bright in Kara’s eyes. Her cape flutters gently in the wind. The city below her glows as if it brims of activity and life even though it’s actually quiet; dormant. Most of the roads are empty, but all the traffic lights keep going green, orange, red anyway. A few plastic bags float in the air from street to street.

The truth is, ever since she was sent to the Phantom Zone once more she’s been feeling off-kilter. Her control slips when she’s alarmed. It slips when she doesn’t expect it to.

Sometimes a simple thing like hearing a sudden, loud exploding sound, makes her feel like she’s twelve years old again on Krypton, trembling and scared and confused as her parents send her off, not knowing if she’ll see them again. Using the small elevators at work makes her hands clammy and her heart pound against her chest uncomfortably fast. CatCo could really invest in bigger elevators. The darkness and stillness of the night keeps her awake and makes her feel anxious and terribly, terribly alone. Whenever she manages to actually catch a bit of sleep, more often than not she wakes up drenched in sweat, remembering or not remembering her dreams.

She’s supposed to be stronger than this—better at handling herself. This is affecting her more than she'd like, and it’s calling up emotions she’s spent a long, long time trying to tamp down.

It's heavy—this familiar feeling. It feels like the whole world is sitting on her chest. Kara hates rage. She hates anger. She thinks it’s poisonous. It makes her hate herself when she feels it. She clenches her fist, heart feeling tight.

She's gone through worse, she can get past this. She has to be stable, she’s Supergirl. She has to be strong. She can’t complain.

Time passes. She feels alone and lonely. Her friends are right there, below, she knows they are literally one message away, especially Alex, but Kara feels like she can’t reach out. She can’t reach out every time something happens to her.

Kara isn’t new to feeling lonely, but it’s been a while since she last felt lost and confused.

Breathing slowly, she spends a bit more time just hovering in the sky. It feels like she floats for a long time, although she’s not sure how much time actually passes. It helps a little—just being out here. It always does.

The sky has that calming effect. She looks down at the buildings. Amidst the dozens of skyscrapers, one specific building below catches her attention. The lights are open in Lena’s penthouse.

Kara frowns, rubs her eyes. It’s late, why is Lena awake at this time? She moves, hesitates. Her body betrays her anyway, gravitating towards that direction.

It’s gentle and quiet—the way she lands on Lena’s balcony. She places her glasses on, and her suit de-materializes as she steps inside Lena’s apartment, the door already opened.

Lena stands in the kitchen, pouring hot water into her tea cup. She’s wearing her MIT sweatshirt, her hair tied into a messy bun, black framed glasses hanging on her nose. She looks soft and cozy.

“Do you have any snacks,” Kara says without preamble, walking towards Lena, and she doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing. She shouldn’t be here.

How did she get here again? Traitorous legs.

Lena’s visibly startled. Understandable. Her friend is quick to regain her composure, and she arches her eyebrow at the intruder.

“Hello, Lena Luthor. How are you, Lena? Oh, I’m great. So kind of you to ask,” Lena says soullessly in a monotone voice, chucking her tea bag into the rubbish. “This is a very normal time to visit a friend.”

The quip makes Kara smile. She watches Lena make her way towards the couch to sit. Then, scanning her friend’s kitchen, she wrinkles her nose in disapproval.

“Oh, no. It’s empty here and there’s too much greens. I picked the wrong home to steal snacks from.”

“What made you think I had snacks here in the first place?” Lena asks, placing her mug on the coffee table. Tablet on her lap, she’s typing something on the screen.

“You’re a billionaire,” Kara reasons, joining her on the couch. “Thought I made the right choice. Thought your kitchen would be filled with a variety of food in a cool fancy way, like those movies.”

“I’m very boring, you know that already.” Lena chuckles quietly, folding her legs. Kara adjusts her glasses, smiles at her friend. She disagrees, thinks Lena’s far from boring.

“It’s four in the morning and you made tea. That’s very normal.”

“Would you like some tea too? I can make you one.”

Kara shakes her head. “It’s okay.”

It’s quiet.

“I’m burning the midnight oil,” Lena sighs. She's deeply absorbed with work, her fingers moving and tapping swiftly against the screen. Kara frowns. “And before you come at me, no, this can’t wait. I’m almost done.” Lena’s looking at her, now. “Why are you awake? Surely you didn’t come here to actually steal snacks.”

“I was sleeping.” Kara takes a breath, lowers her head. She licks her lips. “Then I woke up, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.” She kind of doesn’t want to get into it, so she doesn’t go further. It’s not something she wants to unload on Lena. She came in unannounced.

Lena regards her inscrutably. Waiting. For what, though?

Touching her glasses, Kara adds, “So I went night patrolling. Sometimes in my night patrols, I get to save a few cats stuck in the trees.”

Lena looks at her, amused and something else. She hums, considering. “Saving one cat at a time. No rest for the wicked.”

“Meow,” Kara says, nudging her shoulder with Lena’s, and Lena bumps her shoulder back playfully.

“Meow,” Lena says back, scrunching her nose, and that—that actually makes Kara laugh.

“Aw. I never thought I’d hear Lena Luthor meow. Ever.” Kara coos. She wants to reach out for Lena, who radiates warmth and patience. She doesn’t. “What a cute cat.”

“Okay, enough,” Lena huffs, going back to her tablet.

“You’re really pulling an allnighter? I’m gonna tell Jess, I think.”

“Snitch.” Lena shoots Kara an incredulous look. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I dare. She’s incredible, I respect and admire her ability to force you to actually get some rest.”

“I genuinely don’t know how she does it. She sends threats and knows how to be intimidating. Respectfully intimidating, and I eat it all up. ” Lena frowns, a crinkle settling between her eyebrows. A wave of fondness washes over Kara. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I hope you get to catch up on proper rest later, then,” Kara says, meaning it. Because unlike her, Lena’s a human.

Lena worries Kara a lot, mostly because she has a habit of overworking or being impulsive and finding herself in unpredictable (and predictable) situations. Lena, who has a brilliant mind and a warm heart. Lena, who’s always moving and working, desperate to get away from the Luthor name. Lena, who excels at everything except taking care of herself.

“I will, I promise.” Lena looks up at her, smiling. Soft soft, gentle.

Kara flushes, coughs a little. “You have to stay healthy and in the best shape to keep working. You take me out to fancy restaurants and buy me food. I care about you deeply.”

“Wow, blatantly admitting that you only stick around here for my money.”

Kara laughs, soft and unrestrained. She laughs and laughs; her shoulders feeling light and her heart warm, and she forgets about the unpleasant past couple of hours.

Silence settles in between them for a single, long moment. It’s nice. She looks around Lena’s penthouse. The lighting is cozy. There’s a bottle of liquor on the countertop. A flower vase on the coffee table. Plumeria. It looks well taken care of.

When Lena catches her eyes, Lena hesitates. Kara scrunches her nose.

“What is it? Something on my face?”

Lena hesitates again. She lowers her tablet, and fiddles with her sleeve.

“You’re wearing your glasses,” she says, leaning her back against the couch. The way Lena says it is quiet and weighted. Kara blinks, cocks her head.

“I am.” Kara slowly nods. “What, did I get my fingerprint on them again?” Taking off her glasses, she inspects them, only to see that there’s none. Confused, she looks at Lena, and Lena shakes her head.

“No, what I mean is. You're unfairly cute with the glasses, don't get me wrong, it’s just...” Lena pauses, wringing her hands. Oh. Something’s wrong. Did Kara do something wrong? Some traitorous, self-loathing instinct prompts Kara to frown, ready to apologize because Rao, she can’t keep making mistakes with Lena—“I notice that you still wear them a lot. Around me, I mean. When it’s just us two. You don't have to keep up with the disguise. It’s just me here.”

There’s a heavy silence.

Oh.

Oh.

“Lena,” Kara says softly, setting her glasses aside. “Oh, no. Please don’t get it wrong, I don’t feel like I have to hide from you. At least, not anymore. I feel most comfortable around you, and you let me be myself without judgement.” She can’t stress this enough.

When people find out that she’s Supergirl, they start to treat her differently. View her differently. They see greatness; a god. Lena still treats her the same even after everything. Lena doesn’t brush off her anxieties and worries. She doesn't look at her weirdly, or respond with “but you’re Supergirl” when she talks about her issues.

She treats Kara as a person with feelings, like she's not untouchable. Like she can get hurt.

“Does it bother you?” Kara asks, question genuine. “That I have them on when it’s just us two, I mean.”

“It’s not that it bothers me.” Lena opens and closes her mouth. She flushes, and Kara waits; her quiet contemplation makes Kara nervous. “I just like seeing you. Without them. Just—just you being… yourself.” Pink dusts on her cheeks, darkening. She bites her lip. “Saying this out loud sounds weird. It’s silly, I know—”

“No, it’s not silly,” Kara cuts her off, correcting her gently. “I understand what you mean. At this point,” she says quietly, frowning at herself. “It’s a force of habit, I suppose. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Lena nudges her shoulder with Kara’s. She touches Kara’s hand, a brush of her fingertips. It's gone quickly. “You’re okay, Kara. I was just curious.”

“Oh.” Kara nods, a little flustered. Quietly, she says, “Yeah, okay. I’m just… I’m scared of screwing things up again. Sorry.”

She’s hurt many people. She’s hurt Lena before. Who’s to say she won’t do it again? Feeling a little thrown off the loop and unable to shake off her discomfort from earlier, Kara takes a very slow, very shaky breath. Steadies herself.

Lena looks at her for a long time.

“Don’t apologize if there isn’t anything to apologize about,” she says, eyes steady on Kara’s. “You’ve done more than enough of that.”

“Sorr—I. But. I mean,” Kara stammers, casting around for a reason why she should, but she can’t think of one. A soft breath stutters past her lips, cheeks burning. “Yeah, okay.”

“And... about being scared? Me, too,” Lena whispers. There's silence. She clears her throat. “It’s okay to be scared. We’ve been through a lot together. I know things between us haven’t been the easiest, but I just—I’m happy it’s not like that anymore. I mean, we’ve been working towards it. I almost lost you, Kara. I don’t want us to take each other for granted.”

“Yeah,” Kara says quietly. She isn’t completely sure what Lena is asking her for, but she knows she’s right—it had gotten too easy to take Lena’s presence in her life as a given. It had given her an excuse to act the way she had, delaying the truth—this part of herself, because there was always the chance to tell her next time.

“We’re not the same. And I don't think we ever will be. We’re relearning each other. It’s okay. We’re doing great so far, don’t you think?” Lena says. She’s sincere and earnest, even if her body language is a little closed off. “So let’s try harder. At being good friends?”

Good friends.

“Yeah,” Kara says, ducking her head, flushing. “Friends. Yeah, of course.”

She can absolutely do that.

Alex hosts the next Superfriends’ game night.

Kara stands in front of the couch with her arms crossed over her chest. On the coffee table there’s a packet of kale chips, just existing there and… doing nothing, really. Like all non-living objects do.

She takes that as a personal offense and keeps looking at it, frowning, unsure what to do because 1) why is it in front of her 2) just cruel, who’s the sadist that placed it there, within her field of vision and 3) they just want to watch the whole world burn, huh.

“Kara, are you just going to keep glaring at some chips,” Alex says, and Kara can hear the smile in her voice. She’s in the kitchen with Kelly, preparing food for everyone. Kara would be helping but Alex only allows two people max in her kitchen when it comes to cooking.

Alex’s apartment, her rules.

“It’s not just some chips.”

Kara has been hanging out in the living room for the past thirty minutes, while Nia and Brainy are somewhere in the back of the apartment, doing whatever it is they do alone together. J’onn and M'gann are sitting at the other table quietly chatting with each other, small smiles planted on their faces.

Not everyone’s here yet.

Kara scrunches her face, huffs. She keeps her eyes on the packet, biting the inside of her cheek.

“You’re still looking at it?” Kelly remarks, laughing. “Oh, no. It’s causing the crinkle to appear. Those chips are doing nothing to you, you know you don’t have to look at them.”

Kara huffs, again. “It’s bothering me.”

“You look like you’re one second away from using your heat vision. Kara. No holes in my apartment, or else,” Alex threatens, eyebrows raised up. She’s holding a large kitchen knife, and Kara hardly finds that threatening. “Behave. Just because a certain someone isn’t here yet—”

“Alex, Kelly,” Kara whines, absolutely not giving in. “I’ve been deceived, scammed and left to fend for myself. Kale brings up unpleasant memories from my dark past—” as she says her piece, the doorbell rings. A certain familiar heartbeat settles in her ears, automatically causing a smile on Kara’s face.

Alex wipes her hands on a towel and makes her way to the door, answering it.

“Hey. I bought wine,” Kara hears the newcomer say, and forgets about the kale chips just like that.

“Oh, you always bring out the good stuff. Very nice,” Alex says, and Lena’s eyes are wandering as Alex throws questions in her way. Her eyes wander, as if searching for something behind Alex. When they land on Kara, Lena’s face brightens.

Yeah, they’re getting there.

“Hi, Lena,” Kara calls out, sending a little hand wave. Lena does a hand wave back, and Kara finds herself grinning before she realizes it.

"All right, guys." Alex rolls her eyes, smiling good-naturedly at the two. “Get in, Luthor, and get your usual ritual thing done already.”

Lena steps inside, quietly making her way towards the table where J’onn and M’gann are at, and places the two bottles down. Nia and Brainy appear in the living room, and they greet Lena with huge smiles and hugs. Lena returns them all.

“Usual ritual?” It’s a trap, but Kara asks anyway. “The what now?”

“Hug for a normal amount of time, then stare at each other for a normal amount of time,” Nia supplies insufferably. “It’s cool, I totally do that with my other friends, too.”

“Um.” Kara crosses her arms, forehead crinkling.

“Oh, Nia.” Alex sighs, settles herself back into the kitchen. “Nia, you just get me.”

“Alex, I always get you,” Nia says, sending her finger guns.

Kara scoffs soft at the exchange. She is ready to retaliate, to send some devastating pouts, but the moment Lena turns around to face her, her counterargument falls apart in 0.2 seconds flat.

Lena’s hair is loose, straight down past her shoulders with a side braid. A curve of jaw, smooth cheekbones, tired but gentle eyes. She’s wearing a dark sweater and tight blue jeans. Her lips are a pale red, a gentle pink dusting over her cheeks.

Lena looks so soft and pretty.

She steps into Kara’s space and wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders. It’s easy and casual. It’s them. It’s a gentle touch, more tentative than fierce, but it’s wholly Lena’s choice, Lena’s initiative, and Kara sinks into it.

“Don't pay attention to them. Hi,” Lena whispers, ignoring the teasing and exaggerated sounds sent in their way by their friends. She melts against Kara when Kara locks her arms around Lena's shoulders, fingers moving along her back. “You give the best hugs, you know that?”

“Long day at work? This is why we should make maintenance hugs a thing,” Kara murmurs. Lena melts into the hug further, and her hair tickles Kara’s neck, and her fingers wound in the shirt at Kara’s lower back, clenching and unclenching in a random pattern. “You’re a woman of science, Lena. Lean into the evidence and science.”

“Stop.” Lena laughs quietly, burying her face in Kara’s neck. “I’m leaning into it, right now. They do make me feel better after a long day.”

Finally, they separate. They look at each other, Kara feeling smug being right about her Hug Theory.

Lena’s eyes soften at the sides. Kara can’t tell what Lena’s thinking about, can only think about hugging Lena again because, well. Lena smells nice, and she’s soft, and very, very huggable.

“They wanna kiss each other so bad, it’s quite embarrassing,” Nia comments placidly, and the others are laughing loudly in that loose, unselfconscious way they get when they’re comfortable and settled in.

It's like old times, but Kara doesn't particularly appreciate this part.

So much for rebuilding her friendship with Lena peacefully. Vultures, the lot of them.

“Wow,” Kara says, her mouth in that defensive pout that gets her to places, “can we have one normal game night without you guys being all over our backs?” She feels the tips of her ears redden, and she drops her forehead on Lena’s shoulder. Peeks her face out just enough to shoot a disapproving look at Nia that’s met with an obnoxiously innocent smile. Lena’s body shakes a little against Kara, and then Lena’s laughing, her hand rubbing Kara’s back soothingly.

“No, absolutely not,” Nia says, scrunching her nose. She pauses. “Normal game nights. What does normal even mean?"

Kelly hums, raising an eyebrow. “I have to agree with Nia here. What's normal here? Look around us.”

“You greet a girl normally, and then you get attacked for no reason,” Kara mumbles, and she has no idea why she’s suddenly being put on blast. Lena’s still rubbing her back, which feels so good, so she keeps still, head on Lena’s shoulder, and—

“Keep telling yourself that,” Nia snorts, “you don’t greet everyone like that. I certainly don’t greet my friends like that. At least pretend you like us all equally, Kara.”

Kara laughs out her denial, a choked sound leaving her lips, and tries to bury her face deeper in Lena’s shoulder to muffle her laugh. Okay. That’s fine. Her friends can keep putting her out on blast, and that’s okay. Lena’s always calm and nice about it to Kara, and never makes any comments that would make Kara feel embarrassed.

“I like you all equally,” Kara lies through her teeth, and Lena laughs.

“Boo!” Nia says, and at the same time, Kelly says, “The crowd disagrees.”

“Oh my god,” Alex exasperates, sighs. “Detach, you two. I’ve got games to win, scores to settle.”

“Alex, you’re assuming your games are winnable when I’m here,” Lena finally speaks, and Kara can tell she’s smirking. Lena does nothing to step away from Kara, just keeps giving her little pats on the back.

“Wow, aren’t you confident tonight? It’s on, Lena.” There's still the lack of space between Kara and Lena, which makes Alex narrow her eyes at them. “Unbelievable.” She clicks her fingers impatiently at the two. “Come on. Separate already.”

Right. They really should. Kara steps away from Lena, bites back an apology, and just smiles bashfully at her friend. Lena smiles back, shrugs, and goes to the kitchen to fetch herself a glass of wine.

“You guys are too much sometimes, and for what,” Kara says, plopping down onto the couch. Brainy hands her a bowl of popcorn for strength and support.

“Entertainment,” Nia answers simply, sitting down next to her.

Now that everyone is here, the eight of them drink and shout and eat and play and, by the end of it, they’re warm and happy and bubbling over with laughter and the kitchen is halfway between a disaster and a problem for tomorrow. They finish another bottle of wine then another, arguing in the living room about movies and hot takes.

A couple of friendship-ruining games later, everyone’s settled down and spread out in the apartment. There’s slow music playing from Kelly’s phone through the living room speakers.

Kara only embarrassed herself three times and she now has a beautiful video of Alex and Kelly sloppily performing a dance that will serve as excellent blackmail in the future. She’s made sure to upload a copy to her storage on her email, too, just in case someone tries to steal her phone. Nia has long figured out Kara’s pin on her phone, and that means that everyone else probably knows too—not that Kara cares enough to change it.

Lena sits alone on the couch, eyes on her phone, while Alex and Kelly are in the kitchen chatting to each other. Nia and Brainy are in the living room with her, across the room, looking into the window. M'gann and J’onn are the first two to leave.

Kara decides to approach Lena, looking at Lena’s sweater covered hands as she does so, and sinks onto the couch next to her.

“Did J’onn and M’gann leave already?” Lena asks, and Kara nods. “That’s a shame, I didn’t get to say bye to them. I was taking a phone call.” Her friend frowns, before taking a sip of her wine.

Kara pauses her movements to watch Lena’s lips catch on the rim of the glass.

Lena looks pretty like this—flushed just so slightly, lips soft-red and wet from where she’s licked the wine off of them, a few strands of hair covering her face that Kara’s hand itches to reach out and fix. Kara thinks Lena’s pretty anyway though, her mixture of strong and delicate features that combine, and makes her completely captivating.

“Are you leaving soon?” Kara asks, clearing her throat when her voice comes off a little rough.

Lena hums, and sets down her glass. “Why do you ask?” She looks at Kara, the corners of her mouth curling upwards. “Itching to send the Luthor away? The terrifying big bad?”

“Stop, I’m just curious.” Kara smiles, laughing softly. She nudges Lena’s thigh with hers. “Answer the question.”

Lena tucks her phone away, and rubs her hands together. Again, the sight of her fingers, almost hidden and bitten where they poke out of her sleeves is illegal. Kara clasps her hands together tightly, rests them on top of her thighs. Lena’s cute and Kara’s not going to reach out and coo because she can control herself.

“I think,” Lena says slowly, thinking, “I’ll leave when you leave.”

“Oh.” Kara wets her lips, and almost pokes herself with her finger on the eye. She doesn't have her glasses on. It's an automatic response when she finds herself affected by Lena, and it’s kind of embarrassing. She’s known her for years, and she still gets like this. “That's a lot of pressure.”

She must be making some kind of face right now, because Lena just smiles at her, or smirks morelike, and leans her back against the couch.

“Well. About what you said earlier, Kara? I have some thoughts about it. You said that you like everyone here equally. Unfortunately for everyone, I don’t,” Lena says casually, scrunching her nose.

“What—” Kara laughs, finds herself unconsciously scooting closer to Lena. “Hear this, everyone. So a Luthor has a group of close friends. Out of everyone, her favourite is the Super? Sounds scandalous if you ask me.”

“Please,” Lena says, shrugging her shoulders. “You know you’re my favourite. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re my favourite. You’re acting like this is brand new information.”

And that's—

Wow. To hear Lena say this, to know that this still holds true after everything that happened… Kara flushes. She fiddles with her belt, exhales softly.

Lena’s looking at Kara, and Kara looks back. Kara lets her gaze linger, just a moment, before turning her head to look at Lena’s glass of wine on the coffee table.

“It’s, um. It’s not like that. Hearing it again is nice, that’s all.” It’s always nice. She’s still Lena’s favourite. This is a thank you for being my friend, we’re doing great and things will get better again, they have to, all in one.

Kara bites the inside of her cheek, her neck and cheeks feeling hot. She’s still looking at Lena’s glass. Lena must mistake this as interest, because she then picks it up and holds it out for Kara to take.

“Want to have a taste?” Lena asks.

“Oh… sure.” Wine isn’t exactly Kara’s favourite, apple juice is more of her thing. But it’s expensive wine, and she’s being offered, and what’s the harm in tasting, she supposes.

Kara accepts the glass, stares at it for a couple of seconds, then drinks. She scrunches her entire face at the taste.

“You know you’re supposed to sip wine, right?” Lena arches a brow.

Kara grins widely, cranes her neck. “Is that not what I did?”

“Hardly,” Lena says. Her voice has a soothing quality to it; it’s warm and heavy, like a blanket, and Kara more than likes it. “You downed it.”

“At least I did the swirl thing. That was very cool of me.”

Dimples appear on either side of Lena’s lips when she laughs, and Kara smiles at them. Lena’s smiles always come out heart-shaped. Kara kind of wants to bite Lena’s cheeks. That’s a very normal thought to have.

“Yeah, at least you did that.”

“Of course, Lena. I’m fancy,” Kara says.

“Kara Danvers, how very sophisticated of you,” Lena agrees, and reaches out, ruffling Kara’s hair affectionately. Kara feels so, so fond, she sort of wants to die.

Lena’s smile is soft, but also radiant, and just for Kara. Kara wants to take a picture of it, but her phone is in her pocket and trying to fish it out would ruin the moment. Lena’s smiling big and bright, lit from within.

It’s a good smile. It’s a lovely smile. It’s kind of a smile Kara thinks she’d like to kiss.

Kara stills at the thought sharply, reconsiders it. So it’s a smile Kara would like to kiss. Kara would like to kiss that smile. Kissing that smile would probably feel pretty nice. Interesting.

No matter how she formulates the thought, changing and switching the parts, all is still true. She should probably stop thinking about it now. Or she can think about it later, perhaps in greater detail. But now that it’s there, taken root inside her head, it’s something Kara can’t stop considering now though. How can she, when Lena is just right there, smiling, and easily maintaining all Kara’s undivided attention.

Kara shakes her head and heaves a heavy sigh, leans her back against the couch. As she does that, she settles her hand on Lena’s thigh without thinking.

She keeps her hand there, fingers tapping little drums, and they lapse into silence. Alex and Kelly's voices come out as murmurs from all the way to the kitchen. Since when did they get back inside?

It's overall quiet. They don’t move from their spot. Kara’s incredibly touchy, she knows, unconsciously and subconsciously, but Lena never seems to mind. And that’s the thing that kind of blows Kara’s mind; Lena’s an enabler, which only makes her want to do more.

They hold hands sometimes. They hug often. Kara likes that, likes the comfort and how Lena welcomes and supports her need to touch and be close.

“When are you leaving?” Lena asks quietly, breaking the silence.

“Not sure, I think I’ll stay a little bit longer,” Kara says. “Do you want to go? It’s okay if you want to leave now.”

Feeling brave and bold, she rests her head against Lena’s shoulder. She likes that she can press herself against Lena without it being weird. The tips of her fingers knead into Lena’s thigh. She keeps it there. It feels like the natural thing to do. She sees no reason to do anything else.

There’s an uptick in Lena’s heartbeat. Kara doesn’t mean to listen, but it’s loud. Lena does nothing to remove her hand. She doesn’t show discomfort, either. She only presses her shoulder against Kara’s.

“I don’t. Nice try, but the Luthor stays,” Lena says. “Sorry you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“I’m not trying to.” Kara laughs softly, squeezes Lena’s thigh.

“Hey, you two,” Alex suddenly calls out to them. “Lena, I need your set of hands in the kitchen. We’re trying to make something new here. I’m having a Master Chef moment.”

“Yeah, please help her out before she burns something. I have to go out for a bit and collect something from my car,” Kelly says, wincing, and Alex makes an offended face.

“Babe, wow. It was one time.”

“Yeah?” Kelly hums.

“I’m perfectly capable of working my way around in the kitchen, unsupervised, thank you.”

“Is that so?” Kelly raises her eyebrows, and Alex huffs, purses her lips. There’s an inside joke there somewhere.

Alex and Kelly start to bicker, as they've always done, and probably always will. Kara watches them. Sees the way they move around each other, how the love and adoration in their eyes never fades away, how each teasing remark is followed by a lovely smile. How at some point they gravitate towards each other, smiles fading only to make space for soft kisses as if it's inevitable.

It’s inevitable, the way Kara’s heart starts to ache at the sight of them, that she feels she has to look away. Not for their sake because there’s nothing that could burst their bubble while they are having a moment, but for her own.

Kara’s genuinely happy for them. It just feels like these days, her heart is filled with blossoming loneliness. A feeling far from foreign, she’s used to facing it. It’s just overwhelming, at times.

“Lena, are you coming or not?” Alex asks, peeking into the living room. She pauses, squints at them two. “Kara, hands where I can see them.”

Kelly laughs and Kara makes an embarrassed noise, taking her hand back. It’s ridiculous—Alex is always so dramatic about her interactions with Lena. It’s not like she was all over Lena, goodness.

“Report to the kitchen, Luthor.”

“All right, coming.” Lena sits up straight, and before she stands, her hand settles on Kara’s thigh. She squeezes tight, and sends Kara a look. A look that’s playful—bordering flirtatious. Kara’s heart kind of stutters. “Be good.”

Lifting herself up using Kara’s thigh, Lena stands and makes her way towards Alex without looking back. Kara rubs the back of her neck, just blinking.

The thing about Lena, Kara has noted, is that she is an expert of toeing the line between adorably flirty and slyly sexy, and she flirts or not flirt without any ulterior motive. That’s just the way she is.

So Kara’s not going to dwell on what just happened.

It’s a little more later when the apartment has two less people. Nia tells everyone that she has to leave because she has an interview set up early tomorrow. Soon, Brainy has to go, too. Kara has no idea where Alex and Kelly are right now, but she thinks they’re probably in the living room, gathering up the cupcakes they made for Esme. Going for a quick bathroom break, Kara washes her hands in the sink. Looks in the mirror, makes sure she looks fine, that nothing’s out of the ordinary. Using the towel to wipe her hands, she takes one final look before heading to the balcony.

There’s no one here. Kara sits on one of the seats, making herself comfortable. There comes that odd, peaceful feeling that settles in deep when you're hanging out with friends and they leave one by one as the night progresses. After a couple of hours spent with them, you're faced with a gentle quiet.

It’s late. She looks up at the sky. The moon is out, bright and looking incomplete, showing its crescent shape from all the way here. Taking a deep breath, Kara’s eyes slip close.

She lets the world charge at her. Cars drifting sharply on the road, hammer striking a nail, tools and glasses clattering. Droplets of rain hitting concrete, birds chirping, gentle winds, dishes moving against the sink, displeased voices and arguing, moans of pleasure, airplanes, ships honking, all the way to the sea. She doesn’t move, just keeps still, and lets herself get lost in the chaos.

Time becomes tricky, it distorts itself and Kara doesn’t know long she’s here.

“Hey.”

Everything freezes, resumes, and the noise withdraws. Kara opens her eyes. Lena’s standing near the entrance, eyes curious. Kara blinks. The apartment is mostly quiet around her, still just the soft noise of Kelly’s gentle music filtering in, the whir of the heater, the sound of the building settling.

“Hey,” Kara replies.

“I was hanging out with Alex and Kelly. Mind if I join you?” Lena’s arms are crossed lightly, head tilting a little. Kara wonders if she just got here, or was just staring at Kara for some time.

Kara shakes her head, pats the spot next to her. Lena walks, and settles comfortably right beside her. Her seat is big enough for two people.

They sit in silence for a few more seconds, and then Kara asks, “What are they up to now? Have they bored you too much?”

Lena sighs with exaggeration, rubbing her hands together, fiddling with her sleeves. Kara knows Lena likes the soft material of her sweaters, likes the way she can hide her hands in the sleeves. Again, illegal, Kara thinks.

“They’re talking to Esme on the phone right now, actually. Talking about the process, sorting out the details. And no, it’s not that Alex and Kelly bore me,” Lena says, sighing, shrugging. “It’s that I’d rather spend my free time being the thorn in the Super’s side.”

“Aw.” Kara chuckles quietly. “Poor me.”

Lena bumps her shoulder with Kara’s, and Kara grins at her.

“You know, Alex let me take a look at her room. I saw photos of you and Alex. Young. Eliza, too,” Lena says, her voice very quiet in the silence. “I've always thought that it makes sense that you came from a family like this one. You and Alex… Eliza. Open and loving and safe, I mean.”

Kara waits.

“You know me, and where I come from... I’m the only Luthor who’s currently not serving jail,” Lena continues. “Lex and my mother, it’s final for them... I’m officially on my own. I have been, for a while.”

“You’re not on your own,” Kara says quietly. “Not anymore, Lena. Not ever again.”

There’s silence. Lena stares back at her, still wringing her hands on her lap.

“Are you happy?” Lena asks, and Kara tilts her head at the sudden question.

What does Lena mean by that?

It's a broad question. Happy, Kara thinks to herself, she’s—she’s not sure. What is it exactly to be happy? To be satisfied with absolutely everything in your life? That concept doesn’t sound possible. People are complicated—complex. Kara thinks happiness is something else. Fickle like the heart, it comes and goes in moments.

Like right now.

“I’m happy,” Kara says, smiling. “Very happy. I’m surrounded by good people. Look who’s next to me right now. A stubborn Luthor who can’t seem to leave my side.”

“You know what they say.” Lena shakes her head gently, her mouth curling into a smile. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

They’ve fallen into some type of banter ever since they began to talk again, and Kara loves it. She loves that she can be silly, and Lena would match her energy. Loves that she can make jokes with her again, loves laughing with her.

“Anyway,” Kara continues, looking at her friend. “As I was saying. You have us, now. And you're never getting rid of any of us, I hope you know that by now.”

Lena laughs softly, ducking her head. “So I’m stuck with you guys? What a nightmare, Kara Zor-El.”

Kara Zor-El. Kara really, really likes the sound of that—her name in Lena’s voice.

Kara Zor-El. Kara’s heart feels warm warm warm.

They’re sat next to each other, the distance between them smaller than it probably should be. Until Kara decides to shift closer, their sides pressed together now.

Without thinking, Kara cups Lena’s chin and presses her lips soft to Lena’s forehead. Lena stills sharply and visibly and—oh. Kara doesn't mean to surprise Lena, she just means to... adore her.

This feeling in Kara's chest—it’s overwhelming sometimes. It happens when she stares at Lena for too long, or when she hears her laugh. Sometimes, seeing a simple thing like the sparkle in Lena's eye when she's delighted makes Kara feel off balance. There’s just this uncontrollable urge to wrap her arms around Lena, to hold her, to cherish her.

As Kara takes her hand back and pulls herself away, there’s a cute twitch of Lena’s nose. They meet eyes. Heterochromatic eyes, green and blue, find hers. Kara flushes, hard.

“You haven’t done that before,” Lena says carefully, and there it is again; the sound of Lena’s heart beating wildly against her chest. It’s kind of dizzying and flattering, knowing she has some sort of effect on Lena.

Kara lightly clears her throat. She looks down at her hand, resting between them.

“I’ve been wanting to. You have a very kissable forehead.”

“I’ve always had a kissable forehead,” Lena says, and Kara laughs because—Lena really does. “Yet, it has remained unkissed. Why is that?”

“Great question.” Kara looks at her. “Silly me. Rest assured, there will be no more unkissed foreheads on my watch.”

“Hm. Lucky me,” Lena says. She tilts her head slightly, considering. “Foreheads, you say. Really you mean just mine, right?”

There’s a playful glint in Lena’s eye and she’s smiling, cheeks pale pink, and she’s—she’s cute. Kara is startlingly aware of Lena’s body next to her own. The awareness is like an ache under Kara’s skin. The urge to reach out, to touch.

“Just yours,” Kara says quietly.

Despite the light-hearted atmosphere, there’s an intensity to it. They’ve known each other for five years now, and lately they’ve been dancing around each other. A shift in their energy, some kind of tension in the air between them, and it’s not one Kara’s used to. It feels new, in a way Kara struggles to explain.

And—

She can’t help but notice the tinge of red staining Lena’s lips. It’s from all the wine earlier.

Kara thinks, very much not for the first time, Lena’s really pretty.

She barely thinks before she says it. “You’ve been braiding your hair a lot recently. The side braid looks really nice on you,” she murmurs, “I like it.” Her fingers twitch against her lap, and she flexes her fingers with the desire to thread them into Lena’s hair.

“Yeah?” Lena says, just as quietly.

“Yeah,” Kara croaks.

Kara wants to touch. Lena’s so close, so warm, and—Kara’s eyes move to Lena’s hair. Her hand, ever the traitor, reaches out and slides into Lena’s hair, threading her fingers through the soft dark hair.

It’s strange, because Kara has always been very touchy with her, but suddenly it all feels so much more significant. To Kara's defense it's hard to be friends with someone as attractive and endearing and cute as Lena and keep your hands to yourself.

Unable to help herself, she goes for more, wants more, kind of always wants more, so her hands move, somewhere. She tucks the lock of stray hair behind Lena’s ear. Kara hears a heartbeat, deafening in her ears. She stills for a single, long moment, her hand still in Lena’s hair.

Lena doesn’t say anything, her eyes are trained elsewhere on her lap as if it’s the most interesting thing in the room. Her smile is subtle, but it’s there. The tips of her ears are flushing a soft pink and she's so cute.

Kara’s blood crackles with the sparks. Her fingers move to trail down Lena’s jaw, and Kara watches Lena tilt her face into the touch.

This is unusual for them. It is intimate. There’s no question about it. The way Lena reacts to her—Kara honestly doesn’t know what to make of it.

“Kara, it’s. It’s getting late,” Lena murmurs, staying close as her fingers move to fiddle with the front of Kara’s shirt. It’s one of Kara’s best button ups, but it’s starting to wrinkle from the way Lena curls her fingers into it.

Lena is someone who fiddles with her hands a lot, so this action doesn’t surprise Kara at all.

“It is,” Kara agrees quietly. Lena’s smile disappears. Her face gives nothing away, but the sound of her heart does. It always does.

Kara draws in a slow breath. She can’t help herself, because Lena is an enabler and she always seems to enjoy Kara’s touches. Feeling encouraged and unexplainably bold, Kara slides her hand lower, and her fingers skim along the nape of Lena’s neck, stroking slowly above the edge of her sweater.

“Is this okay?” Kara asks, and watches Lena soften further.

“Yeah,” Lena whispers, voice sounding a little scratchy. “Feels nice. Your hand is warm. Always warm.”

Fingers moving to stroke along the side of Lena’s neck. Lena breathes in through her nose. She looks gorgeous. It’s Lena, of course she does. Her earrings dangle prettily, her neck makes Kara hyper-focus, suddenly having to fight the urge to put her lips against the soft skin and wait, what. That came out of nowhere.

There's way too much neck, way too much collarbone exposed for her to handle.

Heat trickles through Kara, gradual and lazy, and her own heart gives a hard thump. Lena’s hand moves from Kara’s shirt to her thigh. Fingers grip on Kara’s thigh, and it leaves Kara feeling a little light-headed.

She watches Lena. The flutter of closed eyelids when her fingertips reach Lena’s jaw, the bob of her throat as she swallows thickly.

“Lena?”

Lena’s eyes open, her gaze back on Kara’s face, lips parted, eyes even more enormous. Whatever she sees in Kara’s expression makes her suck in a shaky breath. Or maybe it’s just that their faces are so close now, and oh—Kara finds that she’s leaning in closer.

Her eyes are fixed on Lena’s mouth, and for a moment—for a moment she thinks about kissing Lena, just leaning in and pressing her mouth to hers, tasting those lips and drinking her in.

Suddenly it’s not funny anymore.

Kara stills sharply, new thoughts keep surfacing and surfacing. The air between them is practically humming with tension. The tension can be suffocating, is suffocating right now, and keeps building and nothing seems to lessen it.

Kara knows that she should stop. She—she wants to lean all the way in. She’s too caught up in the moment. In the gentle stillness of the night, of spending time with Lena. They need to get up and join Alex and Kelly. Get her thoughts straight.

Kara needs to move away. They’ve only just begun to put the pieces of their friendship back together. She needs to move away.

Kara knows this. And yet—

And yet somehow, she keeps her hand on Lena’s jaw, cupping her tenderly.

“Kara,” Lena murmurs. There’s a pink flush high on her cheeks.

It’s devastating. Kara feels windswept; destroyed. It’s so gentle and intimate—the way Lena says her name. She’s never heard Lena utter it like this.

She looks into Lena’s eyes, sees something pure in there. There’s that gentleness and an unwavering trust Lena’s always placed in Kara. Today there’s something else, something more, trying not to stand out. It’s buzzing, desperate, feels almost tangible. This makes Kara’s mouth dry; her breath turns shaky.

She traces the contours of Lena’s face with her eyes: over long eyelashes and the tip of her nose, down the dip of her philtrum to her lips. Soft, full, and addictive. Kara licks her lips, looks back up, and doesn’t miss the way Lena’s eyes follow the movement; Lena bites her lip, probably unconsciously, and Rao—

There’s a sharp intake of breath, loud in the quiet of the room, and Kara’s not sure if it comes from herself or Lena.

Lena's heart grows erratic when Kara slides her hand down Lena's face a little, her thumb stroking Lena's bottom lip gently. Red lipstick. Kara’s careful not to smudge.

“What are you thinking about?” Kara asks. Voice dropping lower.

She watches the slope of Lena’s neck and the way her throat constricts as she swallows. She should look away but she can’t; she should take her hand back but her thumb moves on its own, pressing it against Lena’s bottom lip.

“I’m thinking,” Lena says, just as quiet, voice shaky, “... are you going to kiss me? Or am I going to keep thinking about it?”

Oh.

Kara feels the whole world tilt. She kind of forgets how to breathe.

Lena waits, cheeks rosy, lips parting. Kara supposes she should have expected this. What with all the touching, the looks. Still it shocks her, and something twists inside her chest.

“I’m,” Kara croaks, heart overtaking her more rational thoughts. Lena breathes slowly, her face is impassive and refusing to give Kara a hint about what she might be feeling. But she seems to want Kara to. Something else drives Kara now—something needier. Something that’s been pulling her down this path for all this time. “I’d like to. This has been driving me crazy. I want—I want to know what it’s like. Just once?”

And—and it’s ridiculous, this reckless request, and she can’t tell what Lena’s thinking, but Lena nods slowly—

“Just once,” Lena says.

Kara can’t quite put her finger on it entirely, as to what feels so odd about them. She swallows thickly. Lena wants the same thing. To give into it, satisfy this craving for… what?

There’s an ache that pulls at her gut, something close to worry. There’s something about her words that just doesn’t feel right. To be in need of something physical is one thing; to want to know what it feels like between them specifically, how the two of them together will be—

It’s different.

The silence feels almost tangible as Kara’s heart hammers in her chest.

It’s just a kiss. It won’t mean anything beyond that. But while it may not mean anything, not in the romantic sense in a way these things probably should—there will still be an impact.

“Kara,” Lena says, and Kara leans in.

The first touch of Lena’s mouth is so gentle it’s barely there. She kisses Lena soft and careful, in disbelief that this is happening. Lena’s lips are soft, slick and warm as they slide against Kara’s own. She slides one hand to the back of Lena’s neck, keeps the other on Lena’s jaw, and kisses Lena like she means it.

This is the opposite of rebuilding that trust and friendship with Lena. What is she doing, this isn’t the way—

“Kara,” Lena sighs softly against her mouth and—

The sound is new to Kara, sweet and wanton. Kara drinks it in as one of Lena’s hands fists the front of her shirt, the other squeezing her thigh. There’s none of the awkwardness Kara was prepared for. Only want and reciprocation. It just dawns on Kara how badly she craves real contact, how Lena seems to be in the same position as her. Both willing to put their friendship to one side just for tonight.

Lena’s breath hitches and Kara takes advantage of her parted lips. She licks into her mouth and tilts her head, kissing her slow and languid. Lena tastes like that wine she was drinking earlier, and something else that’s distinctly her, and Kara can’t get enough of it. She has known Lena so intimately, and for so long, and yet here’s this whole new layer of her that Kara has never gotten to touch.

A soft, choked-off whine immediately falls from Lena’s lips. It makes Kara dizzy, makes her want that sound again.

“Lena,” Kara whispers, and Lena whimpers when Kara gives her waist a squeeze.

The way Lena starts moving, crawling into Kara’s lap as if something isn’t enough for her, the way she’s trying to get more of Kara. The way Lena’s kisses turn a little desperate after that, like she just wants. Kara helps guide Lena, until her body is fitting over Kara. The contact makes Lena groan, and the sound sends Kara’s head spinning.

Kara pulls her face back, just a little. Her eyes trail over Lena’s face. Her lips glisten in the lowlight, the sheen of Lena on her mouth. Lena keeps quiet, just touches Kara’s collar, messing with the material, eyes not meeting Kara’s.

“Okay?” Kara says. She can hear how low her voice has dropped, how it’s so different from how she would normally talk with Lena, but it doesn’t feel strange.

“I should be asking that. I'm on your lap. Weird how that happened,” Lena mumbles, her hands making crinkles on Kara's collar. Kara isn't sure if Lena's aware that she's fiddling.

“Yeah, very weird,” Kara comments, knowing exactly how that happened. She tames the waver in her voice. “No complaints, though.”

Lena looks back at her. Her face is pretty, eyes glassy. Her mouth is red and swollen and kiss-wet and terrifyingly pretty and Kara really wants it on hers again.

“Is this... part of our thing where we’re working towards being very good friends,” Lena says very weakly, smiling tentatively, which makes Kara wince, heat flooding her cheeks.

“Lena, I—”

Lena shakes her head. “Kiss me again,” she says, wets her lips. “Don’t stop yet.”

Kara breathes, breathes, and she isn’t sure what to think. Warm skin and the weight of Lena’s body ground her from her dizzy spiral, and she just nods, doesn’t object. She can never object when it comes to Lena’s requests.

Kara leans forward and kisses the beauty mark on Lena’s neck, tilts Lena’s face and kisses her nose, her cheek, the mark above her eye, which makes Lena close her eye adorably for a second, then the corner of her mouth, the curve of her jaw, and Rao—

What is she doing—

Somewhere in the back of her brain Kara reminds herself that this should feel a lot more like slipping towards the precipice of a cliff against her will, but it feels, miraculously, like the opposite—

“Kara,” Lena protests—whispers. “Kara.”

“Okay,” Kara says, and presses their mouths together again.

She kisses her so soft and chase that makes Lena whine, and Lena shifts against her but Kara stills Lena, squeezing her shoulder. Kara fits their mouths together again and again. She licks into Lena’s mouth slowly, and Lena lets out a soft, desperate whimper. Gently sucks Lena’s lower lip in between her teeth, tugs, swallows the sound Lena makes, and feels Lena shiver against her.

It should feel weird, to feel her friend like this. But nothing so far has felt weird, from the very moment all these heavily charged moments began months ago. No, years ago. Scary, sometimes. Unbearable, too. But weird? No, it’s never felt like that.

She wraps a secure arm around Lena’s back, one hand threading her fingers through Lena’s hair. The kiss, the stroking of the small of Lena’s back, both are intimate, but it feels more intimate to touch hair. To caress Lena’s scalp like she wants to.

Lena pulls away this time, to breathe, and she looks down, not meeting Kara’s eyes, already looking dishevelled—

“Rao,” Kara whispers.

They meet eyes and Lena’s eyes are so dark. Kara doesn’t know what to say, and just strokes Lena’s waist. She watches the way Lena’s lips are trembling each time she inhales.

She should say something. Lena said something earlier. They’re supposed to try harder at being good friends.

She should say something—but what?

Lena studies her closely.

“You look like you’re thinking loudly,” Lena says, lips curling into a small smile. It turns coy when she tilts her head just a little. “Beloved friend, how are we doing?”

And Rao, just like that Kara laughs, soft and fond, can’t help it. She relaxes a bit, feels calmer. Beloved friend. She likes that Lena can still make quips despite how unorthodox their friendship has been.

“We’re still doing good. Working on it. I think we’re being very good friends right now,” Kara mumbles, lips twisting into a wry smile. Lena’s fingers trail through the hair at the nape of her neck and then forward, tracing faint lines behind her ear and along her jaw. Lena’s never done anything like this to her. This sends goosebumps rolling down Kara’s arms.

It feels really nice.

They should probably stop now. This is getting too much—she’s going to stop.

She doesn’t. Kara leans in again, tries to catch Lena’s mouth with her own, but Lena’s fingers slide under Kara’s jaw to tilt her head back, gentle but firm. Her mouth trails down the column of Kara’s neck, wet and warm.

“Lena,” Kara whispers, exhales sharply.

This is the opposite of stopping. She can’t stop the sounds that fall from her mouth when Lena works the skin at the base of her throat lightly. Lena hums against her, nips a bit harder, and Kara slides her hand up to the back of Lena’s head, holding her there. With the flick of Lena’s teeth, Kara feels her smile against her skin.

“You smell nice,” Lena murmurs, so soft and low, and Kara just tilts her head back a little more, sighs out a breathy yeah. There won’t be any bruises to leave, they both know it, but Lena keeps nipping and trying to work one into her neck.

Kara wonders what colour Lena’s skin will bruise under her mouth, and shudders at the thought. A few more kisses and Lena gives up, and kisses her way back up to Kara’s mouth—so so slow it’s dizzying, so so soft it makes Kara sink back into her seat, boneless.

There’s a deep pressing want in Kara’s chest, and hot arousal pooling low in her stomach, but she doesn’t act on it. Can’t. This is already a lot.

Rao. It’s a lot.

She grabs Lena both by the arms gently, and pulls away, faces still close.

“Lena, um. I’m...” Worked up. Kara’s breath is unsteady. Rao, she’s so horny she’s kind of embarrassed.

Kara’s been reckless, but in an entirely different way than she thought. She has been reckless, but she's not going to act on it. This is Alex’s place and Lena’s her friend and she’s a gentlewoman, damnit.

“Sorry,” Lena says, and drops her forehead on Kara’s shoulder. Kara squeezes Lena in her arms.

“You’re fine,” Kara croaks, words not finding her well.

“I got ahead of myself, didn’t I? Again, weird how that happened,” Lena sighs, presses her face against the juncture of Kara’s neck and shoulder, and turns tiny tiny. For some inexplicable reason, Lena seems to really like her neck.

“Lena?” Kara struggles to think straight so she just says, “Are you a vampire?”

“No.”

“Okay. Was just checking.”

Kara feels Lena smile against her skin. Lena feels so good in her arms, soft and firm at the same time, fitting so perfectly against her. Kara doesn’t say anything, Lena the same, so she just squeezes Lena again.

Reality sinks in bit by bit.

Yeah, she just kissed her friend. Kind of more than kissed, actually, and—yeah, wow. A few more moments pass, and then Lena pulls her face away from Kara’s neck, looks at Kara. She starts smoothing Kara’s shirt so that it’s less evident that they pretty much just made out with each other.

She does it silently and calmly while Kara stays still, flustered, face burning, suddenly feeling really shy. Rao. Lena’s hair is a little disheveled, and she starts helping Lena with shaky hands. She hopes Lena doesn’t notice.

Lena’s touches are gentle gentle, not serving any help to Kara’s racing heart at all.

“Yeah, I’m done for the night. Seeing everyone tonight was nice. It’s not always possible to gather everyone in one place outside of work.” There’s a voice coming from another room. Alex. Footsteps get closer and closer.

“Yeah, I get what you mean. We all have demanding lives,” Kelly says lightly.

Kara and Lena startle apart the moment they come into sight—Lena removes herself so fast Kara’s left blinking and impressed, just looking at the empty Lena-shaped spot in front of her.

When Alex’s eyes land on them, she watches them long and slow.

“Oh, hey. We were just coming up to check on you guys,” Kelly says, smiling.

“Hi. Uh. We’re doing good. And I think I should get going now, it’s late,” Kara says with a hoarse voice, standing up and grabbing her phone from the small table beside her. She is buzzing everywhere. She feels drunk but she’s not.

“Same here,” Lena murmurs, and she starts moving as well. Kara’s heart won’t stop beating fast.

“You know, you two can stay over if you guys want,” Kelly suggests, hands gesturing towards the apartment. “We have spare rooms.”

“Yeah, Kara. We have space for you two,” Alex says, and Kara shakes her head without looking at her sister, politely declining. Lena does the same. Things are going too fast. Or she’s going too fast and she can barely keep up with herself.

There must be nothing wrong with the way they look or seem because neither Alex nor Kelly point out anything about them; all they do is make sure Kara and Lena have all their belongings before letting them go free. They both leave quietly, and soon they’re on the sidewalk outside of Alex’s apartment.

The sky is dark, the night late, and the moon stands out in a sea of black. Lena stands close to her in the street as they settle at a spot with decent lighting. Their breaths come out foggy into the cold night air. The street light touches Lena’s hair gently, sharpening and softening her features at the same time, and Kara shakes her head, wills herself to get it together.

“Well that was interesting,” Kara says, and Lena blinks. Her friend doesn’t say anything, but she looks expectant as she watches Kara back. Kara flushes. “Good kiss, by the way,” she adds lamely, and she kind of wants to fling herself into the sun.

Lena nods at her slowly, and Kara looks away, feeling embarrassed. A moment passes. Kara hears a quiet inhale from Lena, almost steadying.

“Good kiss,” Lena echoes, and when Kara turns to face her again she can see mirth in Lena’s eyes. “Really, that’s all? Is this going in my Yelp review?”

“You kind of ravaged my neck, so there’s that, too.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Lena deadpans, and Kara blushes hard, remembering that she said those exact words to Lena a long, long time ago. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

“And you like teasing me too much,” Kara murmurs, rubbing the back of her neck.

“It's a thankless job but someone's got to do it.” There's a smile on Lena's face, which calms Kara a bit. Only a little.

“Wow.”

“See? Thankless,” Lena sighs.

“Sorry, I'm just.” Kara chuckles quietly, licks her lips. “It’s not every day that you... kiss your friend on the mouth and your sister walks right into it.” At least, not in Kara’s case.

A long silence follows. The streetlight glints off one of Lena’s eyes as she looks at Kara.

“Best friend,” Lena quietly corrects, and if Kara wasn’t feeling so flustered she’d melt at the correction. It kind of catches Kara off guard, the way Lena focuses on that and not the kiss. So Lena still considers her as her best friend, after the reveal, after the whole not talking to each other, after everything. Favourite person and best friend. Kara breathes slowly, doesn’t say anything. Lena watches her closely, exhaling softly. “Actually, Kara? Maybe Alex and Kelly did see something. I think you should take a good look at yourself in the mirror later.”

Taken aback, Kara’s jaw drops and she touches her face, a little panicked, and Lena laughs at the sight.

“Lena,” Kara whines, mouth curling into a pout—

“Relax, I’m kidding. You’re okay.”

Kara swallows drily. Her mouth, her tongue, still taste like Lena when she licks her lips. Lena stares at her and nearly steals the breath from Kara again.

“It’s getting really late. We both should get going.” A small cough. The kiss—they should probably talk about it seriously, this time. Kara is sure Lena’s wondering about it. “Goodnight, Lena,” Kara whispers, internally groaning at herself.

Lena nods, her pupils visibly blown so dark and so wide. Her cheeks are flushed pink. It’s comforting to know that Kara isn’t the only one who still feels affected. It’s not something she lets herself dwell on. They really, really should talk about the last twenty minutes, but—

“Sleep well, Kara. Goodnight,” Lena says simply, and then steps away.

Later inside Kara’s apartment, Kara just stands in front of her door, heat coiling deep in her stomach. It settles, staying there. Her forehead is knocked into the wood trying to wipe the kiss from her mind.

“Rao,” she murmurs, knocking her head against the wall again. Lightly. She closes her eyes.

Rao.