A natural consequence of this is that “good Christian boys” don’t tell “good Christian girls” things like, “Hey, I think you’re really hot.” They have to talk around attraction in unsexy ways, or avoid saying it altogether and just assume the girl understands that she is desired.

“Hey, I just really admire your passion for the Lord, and can we maybe get coffee sometime?” No. Please. I cringe! Young men, this is not a replacement for telling a woman she’s stunning, or really cute, or that she makes your heart skip a beat, or whatever is your authentic way of expressing attraction. You think young ladies know their own attractiveness. They do not. They very often miss (or dismiss) what you think are obvious signals (which for modest Christian men are so flipping subtle to begin with.)

Nothing is less passionate than suppressing your feelings, and probably few things lead to worse long term self esteem issues among young Christian women than constantly being told, “God thinks you are beautiful; you’re all daughters of the king,” and no one girl being told specifically and sincerely by another human (who isn’t her relative) that she is pretty. Ask me how I know.