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Saying sex and gender aren’t the same thing is a little like saying humans and verbal/ written languages are the same thing. Yes, sex and gender relate to each other, but they serve different functions — the way gender relates to gender varies from culture to culture just as a language varies from people to people. Gender is a language of customs and tools that informs a community or culture of the sexed biology possessed by individuals, but that is not all it is — it is wonderfully complex and nuances, unlike mere biological binary sex. Gender makes a beautiful dance of something that might otherwise be vulgar while also creating barriers that protect or give space for the sexes. Sex without gender would be chaos just as gender disconnected from sex is dysfunctional.
I wrote more about this here:

