This move — aestheticising compliance and calling it love — is one I recognise from every institution that has ever wanted my obedience more than my flourishing, from the classroom to my childhood home: “You won’t always have a calculator in your pocket” (you will); “you can’t trust anything on Wikipedia” (you can); “is that what your therapist told you to say?” (yes, and it was right). The miraculous task, as Joseph puts it, of living, involves using tools — and figuring out how to use them to flourish. This is not a rejection of living. It is living.