this week in stupid: March 22 edition
Jesse sucks it, Elon constructs it, and so much more...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: ai yi yi
what the fuck is this nightmare fuel?
“Elon Musk is a family man
The safest place on Earth is in their arms.
Moments like these become priceless memories.”
notice anything weird about the Space Nazi’s ‘family’? that’s right, they’re not the flesh-and-blood kind — they’re the vomited-out-by-some-hellish-AI kind. by some miracle, the one hand we see in that pic has the correct number of fingers on it.
apparently there is an entire cottage industry of keyboard warriors churning out dozens of computer-generated images of the Space Nazi surrounded by imaginary families.
excuse me, but what the fuck is going on with the face of Inbred McYokel in the blue denim jacket?
make no mistake. the Space Nazi is not a ‘family man’ — he’s a turbocharged sperm donor who has made it his mission in life to squirt out as many replicants has he can — with as many women as possible — in some racist race to out-breed the swarthy hordes. however, once the little kidlets are out of the oven, he forgets about them. if Elon were a ‘family man,’ there would be photographic evidence, and his legion of fan-boys wouldn’t have to rely on gruesome AI-generated hocus-pocus.
in fact, the only one of his demon spawn that Elon takes any interest in at all is the Crown Prince Snotwiper.
but apparently Elon’s now outsourced the raising of the Crown Prince to Dear Leader. god help him.
tuesday: 100% of morons make my head hurt
try to read this next item without your blood pressure spiking — because hey, guess who just woke up to the fact that America pretty much fucking sucks now.
that’s right, a whopping 83% of PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T VOTE IN 2024 are unhappy with how unfettered fascism is working out for them.
I can’t even.
folks, I’d like to propose a new rule: if you didn’t vote, you don’t get to fucking complain. in fact, if you didn’t vote, please stand in the corner and face the wall for the next four years and think about what you’ve done.
wednesday: look who sucks
uh oh, noises are coming out of Fox News found object Jesse Watters’ face-hole again.
“I have rules for men. like you don’t eat soup in public. you don’t cross your legs. and you don’t drink from a straw. his excuse was I was drinking a milk shake. again, you shouldn’t be drinking a milk shake. milk shakes are for kids.”
I have a rule for Jesse Watters: shut the fuck up.
guys, can we talk? the last thing anyone needs to be doing is living their lives to the dictates of some toxic Fox News meathead. no well-adjusted dude thinks about any of this shit. you want to suck on a straw? then fucking suck on a straw. who gives a shit? worrying what other people think doesn’t make you manly — it makes you weak, insecure and fragile.
thursday: we don’t need no edumocation
thursday was the day that Donny Convict pretended to abolish the Department of Education.
spoiler alert: he can’t — to actually do so would require an Act of Congress.
regardless, all the Sewer Clowns fanned out to wax romantic about how super fucking awesome it’s going to be once America no longer has any national standards for educating its children.
even the Space Nazi got into the act — but folks, can we all just agree that if you want to dance on the Department of Education’s grave, that you at least learn how to spell ‘department’? because otherwise, you might look like a fucking imbecile.
oh dear.
and should any of us really be surprised that down there in America’s dangly bit — the swampy state of Florida — their own Departmen(t) of Education can’t spell ‘twelfth’?
friday: gone with the windbag
oh joy of joys, the Space Nazi’s dad is back in the news. when last we checked in with good old Errol Musk, he was managing to be racist, homophobic and transphobic at the same time.
“Obama’s a queer, married to a man who dresses as a woman.”
isn’t Errol a charmer? well, homeboy’s found a new way to cover himself with glory.
Errol Musk, the father of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, believes that his son can't be racist due to his past relationships with “Black servants” who worked for the family in apartheid South Africa.
‘we can’t be racist, all our servants were black’ is such a persuasive argument, can’t you agree? oh, and according to Errol, apartheid was pretty fucking amazing — if you had the foresight to be born white.
“We lived in a very well-run, law-abiding country with virtually no crime at all,” he said. “Actually no crime. We had several black servants who were their friends.”
we’ve tracked down an exclusive photo of Elon O’Musk and his childhood best friend, Mammy.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
so ... every time I write about Crown Prince Snotwiper, at least one person will email me to tell me it's wrong to go after Elmo's children. however, I don't think it crosses a line to point out that the kid definitely has a penchant for mining for nose gold, and marking his territory with it
They all ARE fucking imbeciles-that’s why they can’t read, write, do math, sing, think critically, be kind….you may add more! YIKES! Thanks for sharing stupid stuff Jeff..it definitely helps to laugh!