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Since her bed may be a little lonely until she realizes the beauty that is having the entire thing to herself. $29.95; Amazon
Amy Poehler delivers some breakup truth in her memoir Yes, Please: “Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.” $9.53; Amazon
This treat sampler is loaded with goodies like chocolate-dipped pretzels and chocolate-covered cheerios. $62; Mouth
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The app Bark ‘N’ Borrow matches animal lovers with nearby dogs for free cuddle sessions.
Because vino will never break her heart. $12; Etsy
As if this list would be complete without 25, Adele’s new CD. $12.99; Target
This bath bar explodes into bubbles, and as a bonus, it’s named Karma—a nice touch if her ex treated her terribly. $11.95; Lush
It’s a pretty little reminder to stay strong and not respond. $28; Etsy
If she’s just sad, it’ll distract her from the breakup. If she’s enraged, it’ll do that plus inspire her to imagine her ex getting eaten by zombies. Convenient! $35.99; Amazon
When sipping from a glass is too basic for her tastes, try the Chambong. You fill it up, tilt it back, and drink from the bottom instead of the top. Repeat until she hits that tipsy “My ex lost out, I am as amazing as Beyoncé” point. $30; Chambong
If she just so happens to imagine it’s her ex’s heart while squeezing, so be it. $25; Etsy
You two can do activities to broaden your horizons and challenge yourselves, so she can remember just how strong she is. Or you can hang out by the pool and get massages. Whichever.
It’s pretty much the epitome of cathartic. (Just be sure to research whether the items in question are safe to burn and how exactly to do so, because accidentally setting her backyard on fire would not be cool.) $102.99; Amazon
This is called taking herself on a movie and dinner date, and it’s a necessary part of the getting-over-it process. $15.95 and up; Etsy
