APHC 50, Solo, and Trio shows

The Column: 07.26.24

Delicious weeknight staples for our current dystopia!

Choose your fighter

Don't say “Oorah” or “yut”

“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.

More like Macbleeeech!

And if so, how do we do that?

Two days ago, I went to see my friend, Dr. Oren Tepper, for a breast lift and a fat transfer. I’d known that I needed my boobs fixed for about four years. But I kept putting it off, because I actually loathe surgery.

You know, because I'm Mexican now!

Upon opening Louise Perry’s new book, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, I’m moved to tears by the dedication: “For the women who learned it the hard way” Unlike many other people who have read and reviewed Perry’s work, reading her book wouldn’t be some academic exercise in contemplating how liberal feminism has let women down. It wouldn’t be evaluating what those poor sluts over there have endured in the wake of the sexual revolution. Reading her book was personal.

Listen now | Walk-Ins Welcome #295

Newsletter 2022-08-15

Newsletter 2024-07-26

Is suffering in silence the new gaslighting? This GenX-er (two thumbs pointing inward) wonders about it!

Varietopia works for YOU

After reading a lot since the debate, I have come to the conclusion that I was wrong to think it is better for our country for him to step down. My mind changed (although I was unsure, just scared) in part because it feeds into the idea that performance in one night should be a determining factor for who makes a good Commander in Chief. Immediately following the debate, I was scared and thought he had lost it. But he simply had a bad night, and I am certain he is capable of handling the office of the Presidency. Those duties do not include debating a pyschopathic, serial liar.

Cat ladies and feminism

This here is what you get, and why.

Take a line from a 'Tortured Poets' lyric and rhyme it with one of your own. Plus winning list-linkers.

and that's why I'm crying quietly.

How do we get through this all this f*cking f*cked f*ck?

You may remember me from such shows as Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, The Daily Show, or my dramatic cinematic breakout as "unnamed Cinnabon Cashier" in The Love Guru.

I have one, "Madame President"

Two long years ago, I wrote about Miami.

Who among us does not want to do a practice meet-up with Satan?

Hey friends! Hope you’re having a wonderful week despite the world’s constant attempts to make it terrible! Today I’ve got something for ya that no one else will see! I was asked to audition for Saturday Night Live during the hot and heavy era of the pandemic so everything was done on tape. My pal (and SNL Alum) Leslie Jones gave me some pointers and I …

Oh And Also.... Please Sign Up To My New HeroHero!

It's the end of days

Well, Almost

From here on out I'm done with the drip, drip, drip, drip, drip...

To give you the strength to carry on

Here they are!

TWIOAT Presents: a maritime mystery.

não estou acusando NINGUÉM de NADA. porém,

em diversas categorias

Always interesting and always good fun, Janine Morigeau answers a lot of my subscribers questions, and a few of my own!

Mark Attwood's "Diary of a Conspiracy Theorist" is a reader-supported publication.

Part celebration, part wake, the event represented a fitting closure to me

And get a month of your subscription comped for every referral you bring us

Twenty years after tragedy struck, the fearsome menace is the main topic at a golf club dinner

Ballygobbard is abuzz as the story of the "Beast" travels far and wide

Marcel, E.G.G.S. and Nathaniel Tell All

Plus! Turnstile Poll!! Weird Trash Photo #27!!! Eric Adams Watch!!!!

For writers and performers

Which is better?

“you can’t get addicted to weed.” wanna bet?

And now I can basically do just that cuz Substack lets me write posts from my phone.

What I’m working on today :)

Could be the most farken effort I've put into a video in ages ay.